Microblog Mondays: Women’s sports – watching is biased too…

As we all know, the recent headlines has been that the Women’s cricket team is doing extremely well in the World Cup tournament.  Even though the viewership has increased to watch women play cricket or any other game, there is this chauvinistic mentality to not watch women play sports and where they doing it extremely good too.

Any sport is a combination of strength and technicality. Some require a need for greater strength, some need more technical execution. Some sports are a treat to the eyes like synchronized swimming or floor exercise in gymnastics; while visual beauty is appreciated, the hard work behind it for such perfect performance is looked over.

The application of strength or technical precision or a mixture of these two, on the arena or field and to remain calm in a tension packed zone and perform well too – all these require the sports person to be well balanced in body and mind.

So why the bias in watching women’s sports and especially those when they are performing well?


Friday musing – Wearing what you want with confidence…

I can say with great affirmation that I decide what to wear, clothes, accessories or anything.

But there are other kind of people too. One set of people are driven by their children. The son or daughter decides what the mom should wear. “Ma, wear sari when you come to school” “Ma, wear salwar kameez when you drop me at my friend’s place” – this and that. It can even go to levels like “Ma, don’t wear jeans…it doesn’t suit you” “Ma, those big bindi on your forehead – I don’t like” “Ma, wear small studs for your ears, these jhumkas are for younger people” – And I feel like throwing some very bad curses at all these comments as these are very opinionated either by the children’s peer pressure at school or by the family’s comments and decisions on what suits the woman / mother. Of course, its only her and always her and her dressing sense, which is under scrutiny.

Then there are women, who are uncomfortable in their own skin – they feel fat, ugly and not fair skinned – may be all put in one. It takes too much of insecurity about one’s own self to be critical of one’s body and deciding against wearing clothes which may not suit the body type. After all, we’ve this one life to live, which we can remember. Why not live it fully, by wearing whatever the heart desires!! Why should someone die in the hope that one day they can wear slim-fit jeans? Why not buy and wear them today?

Another major deterrent is the fact that the husband find the wife fat or ugly.  He doesn’t want to go out with his wife anymore, because of her body shape or structure. His reasons “She wasn’t like this before the children were born”. It takes a lot of maturity on the part of the husband to understand the consequences of being pregnant with a child and going through the process of delivery. The hormones play havoc on the women, who go through these stages. Some put on weight on their thighs alone or back alone or it could lead to different health issues after a post-pregnancy depression. Without understanding all these, the husband just wants his wife to come out of a pregnancy and delivery stage, looking like those movie stars. Excuse me…man, you’re not fit to be a human at all!

While it takes a woman of very strong confidence to look down on those kind of people like the dust in her shoes, many women are still struggling to fight their own fear of “Am not good enough for my husband”!

The other day I saw a woman, shorter than me but wearing a long kurti with side and center slits and tight pants. From my point of view, it looked nice on her, as she was wearing what she liked. But I did hear a comment like that the dress doesn’t suit her because she is short of nature. It seems that short women are supposed to wear short kurtis so that they look tall. Really? Which world do you live in…people? Even if this is true, let that woman be the deciding authority on whether she wants to look tall or short.

Sari designs – “Oh…these are for the older women”
Spectacle frames – “M’am choose something your age…this is for the younger generation”
Heels – “Oh no! A big no no for older people”
Dupatta / shawl – “A must for women, especially the heavy bosom ones”
Anarkali type kameez – “A big no for fat women”
Crisp cottons – “Thin women look like sticks wearing sari”
Myths…myths…all made by our own society…

Is covering from head to toe, an apt dress??

Also, saris are the most desired attire for married women – Really? Women wearing other kind of dresses don’t remain married or what?

First, we bring up the girl child in our homes to hold on to all the fears of the previous generations. She cannot wear pants, she needs to wear pavadai davani after puberty, she needs to wear sari after marriage, no other dress code is allowed for her.  And it’s the societal prejudices that drive the women to dress in a particular fashion.

It takes a woman, an extreme dose of strength, inner guts, trusting her intuition, a don’t-care-about-others attitude and most of all, excessive loads of self-love to be herself and wear what she desires – clothes / bags / jewelry / bindi.

So, love thyself first woman!!
Wear what you want and be happy 🙂

The ideal woman…

always wears a sari !! ***Now, I don’t like the sound of it***

There is this K. Balachander movie of the B&W era, in which this song comes.

The song is nice, the lyrics are good and L R Easwari has sung this song in a different husky voice, which was a new experimentation and it was a big hit.

But I’ve issues with this song’s visuals. In this song, the husband thinks that his wife wearing a nightie is the cool thing to do. And even if his wife felt uncomfortable wearing the nightie, for the precise reason of feeding her child with her breast milk, the husband takes no notice of this. He insists that she wears it, anyway.  Even though told lovingly, I didn’t like him imposing his wife to wear a dress, which she is not comfortable with.

While he wanted her to change from sari to nightie, there is an other side to this whole story.

The other day, there came a topic of discussion, when talking with some one, that wearing a sari is the ideal thing for women.  Now, who decided that it was the ideal thing ?? And why should someone else decide what is ideal for us, women ??

Are those women who trot this world in jeans-tees / salwars-kurtis / skirts-blouse not ideally dressed ??

Why can’t we decide what we want to wear ?? And why, dear God, should we be judged by the clothes we wear ???

I know, I don’t have to take these people seriously, but I just have to let out here !

The Bitter Truth

Owing to this Update, I changed to a new house-hold help. She’s M – very quiet, clean and sticking to the time she told me – so far so good.

She was inquiring me about my mother, my patti and how they are coping up. When I told that my patti has lost both her sons….she was very upset and then told this.

M is just 23, but already a mother of 3 daughters….just read daughters again. After delivering 2 daughters, she decided thats it and she cant take any more. But her husband and MIL persisted, so that she can give them a son. M left the husband’s home and went to live with her mother. Her working mother, her strong support, welcomed her. M’s mother tried to put in some sense in M’s husband and MIL’s mind…but it never worked. So, M’s mother sought the advice of their Doctor, who called M’s husband and tried talking to him. The Doctor explained that M is very weak and she cannot sustain another pregnancy. And that even the Family Planning Op needs to be done soon, when M’s physical health becomes better.

The husband assured the Doctor that he’ll take care of M and took her and the girls back home. Within a month of taking her back, she became pregnant. M was furious, because she has fought every moment that this should not happen. But finally, she delivered a third girl, much to the fury of her husband and MIL.  M looks like a stick to me…I didn’t know where she had the strength to undergo 3 pregnancies at such an early age.

Now, M’s argument is all the more interesting :

“My husband wants a son from me.  But, he doesn’t do his duties as a son, to his Mother. He is not even considerate towards her. Its me who takes care of her, with the money I get paid.  When he cannot be a good son, why does he want a son ????

And I’ve a brother too, of whom my Mother was more fond of. But now, seeing the way he is behaving so selfishly, she has come to realize that daughters like me are more better than those sons.

Now, you tell me, why everybody is after a son ????”

The Bitter Truth is that the Man wants a Son, but he wont be a good Son to his parents !!!

My friend was chatting with me on phone and the topic went towards home based work or part-time jobs.  My friend is very friendly with a warm smile and very good at helping out people.  But sadly, trying to do some home based business opportunity, left her quite dry, as the husband started opposing the high demand for her business, in the community of flats, where we stay. He didnt like her getting busy and meeting more people.

She tried applying for Teaching jobs (part-time) and even got selected. Since husband has night-shift, he sleeps through the day, while she can go to work and be back home for lunch. Alas, no to that also.

The Bitter Truth is that the Man doesn’t like more importance for his Wife or probably Man likes his Wife to be financially dependent on him.

Now, there are more such people, whom I meet on a regular basis, and out comes a Bitter Truth from their life.  Here are some :

The Bitter Truth is that the Man can get highly emotional over simple things, shout, scream and make a hungama, but the Wife just has to remain totally un-emotional.

The Bitter Truth is that the Man can talk unwanted things in a moment of high and can apologize and make up the next morning, while the Wife talking unwanted things will not be tolerated by the Man and no apology will be accepted.

The Bitter Truth is that the Man can talk all that he wants about the Wife and her family and put them down with words, while the Wife should adjust to his side of the family, however they are and not say a word about it.

Now, there are exceptions and these are not generalizations. Each and every Bitter Truth is a reflection from someone’s life, I’ve met recently.  It saddens me a lot, to know about these kind of Men around.

But I am happy to know the Wife(s), who work constantly on taking all these in good spirit and learning to enjoy life. Their smile and jovial nature, beyond the Bitter Truths in their life, makes me respect them so much.  After all, the Woman is certainly more stronger, mentally. 🙂

Crushed with Tag

OK !!! I was digging up archives to do interesting tags, to fill up my NaBloPoMo – its really getting difficult, as I am nearing the end of the month.  And Vimmuu has taken time to go thru the tags he had done, so that he can tag me officially.  See here to read the list.

According to the tag, I am supposed think of myself as a guy and list those five beauty queens, for whom I have a crush.  But there are other women, whom I respect and admire.

So, I decided to do two lists.

List 1 – The women for whom I could die a thousand deaths.

1. Madhuri Dixit as in Dhak Dhak

2. Zeenat Aman as in Churaliya Hai tumne jo dil ko

3. Julia Roberts as in Pretty Woman / Notting Hill / Runaway Bride

4. That wonderful Madhubala of yesteryears !!!!

 

5. Dimple Kapadia as in Bobby / Sagar

 

 

List 2 – The women whom I admire, respect and look upto.

1. M S Subbulakshmi

2. P T Usha

3. Enid Blyton

4. Indira Gandhi

5. Mother Teresa

How to make a Woman Happy ???!!!!

Here is one beautiful forward, which I got in my mail, which is surely going to make every man SMILE  🙂 !!!!! 

Women, please don’t take offense, we need to make the Man happy, sometimes !!!! Thats the way, life is. 🙂 

How to Make a  Woman Happy  😆

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest terminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31.. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

 

 

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. A Small Smile 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Now, my dear Male readers, are you all happy ?????!!!! Just by blogging abt this, I’ve made you all feel happy !!!!! 😆