Remembering Appa…esp today!

With so many ads and reminders in the TV and social media, one just cannot skip the fact that today is the special day for fathers. When one day is never enough for celebrating the father-daughter relationship, this day can be the affirmation day of such a beautiful love.

I’ve written so much about my Appa before, here in this space.

There are many things I adored in my father and I greatly respected him for that. One such thing is the simple fact of giving us the space to find our foothold.

This man, my Appa, needs to be applauded for the simplest fact that he just let me make my decisions on what to study, where to study, where to take up a job and he quietly supported me in my endeavor to make a difference in the world.

Out of all the support he gave me, I consider this incident to be the best in his life as a father, for it meant a great deal to me, then and now.

I was working with a company’s research department, after my college. Even though my dream then was to work with Microsoft, this was the most coveted job among my classmates. And I was the lucky one to get through the rigorous training, which made me the happiest one ever. Appa was elated to know about the job and he was so proud of me, which meant the world to me.

Over a time frame of two to three years, I felt a natural shift inside me to search for something else as I felt that that the job I was doing, was not my calling. I started feeling a natural boredom in the place of passionate research. I just wanted this whole thing to sort out by itself. It just took me some more time to realize that whatever change that needs to happen in my life, will happen only because of my decision to change.

And one fine day, as I was sitting and pondering in my chair, I just wrote a resignation letter and submitted and quit the job. Phew…I felt relief. I didn’t know my next course of action. But I was open for new things to happen as I was free of those things which held me back.

I came home by afternoon. Appa, thatha and patti were having lunch. Appa asked me “Ennachu?” (What happened?) I told him that I just quit my job as I didn’t feel like continuing in that job and that I wanted to do something else. It sounded strange to my ears as I was prepared to let go of that engineering studies and its related job profile, while I was the one to go for it after school.

He just smiled and said “Just sit and eat” – just pure acceptance of me, my decision and whatever I wanted to do later. My God! What a relief it was for me for such blinded acceptance from my Appa. It just made me to work harder and to get back in a good job about which my Appa will be proud again. Even though I did things for myself, I secretly aimed at making my Appa proud.

Today, I sit back and reflect all these, as my daughter has quit her job and come home to take a break and there is this smile of acceptance and support from her father and I feel grateful for such fathers in this world.

For without such understanding fathers, we daughters are never complete.

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Happy birthday, my sunshine girl <3

Her smiling face is her passport
To all the good things that comes her way!
Her perseverance is her guiding light
To those amazing things that make up her life!

Her vivacity
Friendliness
Intelligence
The josh to live life on her own terms
Standing up for what she thinks is right
Her fiercely independent nature
Gives her the glow of joy of living!

She enthralls her group of friends
With her laughter
Lame jokes
And a great zeal for doing things!

Her clarity of thought
On things to do
On her studies
And way beyond too
Makes me so damn proud of her!

And this is the best time to thank God
For bringing her into my life
Through me
As she is the sunshine
Which I need everyday, to be!  

Happy birthday, my sunshine girl ❤

This and that from a mother!

I remember the day she started loving paneer…
Its still so fresh in memory, the day she started having milk like other kids, overcoming her allergy to milk…
The day she stopped telling “buuuu” for any color I ask and started telling the colors so clearly without the hint of baby language…yes, I remember…
The day she stopped referring to herself with her self-made name “athroo” and started referring to herself as I / me / myself – very fresh in memory…
The day all the baby talk blabbering stopped…very much remember them…

Now, I wonder when her fav color changed from blue to pink or the other colors which she didn’t prefer before!
I
I wonder when she started preferring geometric designs on her dress!
When did she grow up so much to give psychological lessons to me!!
Or when did she become my mother to scold me for getting a headache..he he!
When did she start disliking her fav potatoes and started liking the fruit salad!

Am just sitting here and knowing about the changes suddenly, without any warning and am like, when did this happen!? I just sit and wonder about them, as they keep going through the changes.

As a birthday keeps approaching, the mommy is going through a lot of thought process…

Missing what matters!

Today is a day of high-strung emotions.

I went to the temple, as always on Saturdays. Just as I was about to start my pradakshinam, I saw a little girl hugging her father so tightly. Her face was glowing with her love. Even though the father found the hug a bit too tight, he was revelling in her love for him.

That moment broke the tear dam, which was holding up for a long time.

I wiped my tears and started the pradakshinam.

Then came running two small girls, in polka-dotted frocks, all smiling and absolutely happy to be there. That was the next moment. The tears couldn’t be controlled.

What’s this with these little girls and their showing of love, that breaks me down!!

When my elder one was little, she used to wait for her Appa to come back from work. She’ll be looking out for him, from the bedroom window. Since her height was an issue, she used to stand on the cot’s head stand and look at the window with wide opened eyes. Among all the bikes that passed our home, she’ll rightly identify her Appa’s with the sound of the engine. And will start shrieking with joy looking at him and waving to him.

Now, there is a role reversal. The father and the mother put together wait to see their little girl run towards them…

I am holding strong. But there are days when that strength fails you in comparison to the love thread in between.

To put in one simple line – an emotionally strung mother is missing her daughters!

Day 4 – When laughter came to meet me :)

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For this November blogging, I made this decision to write about the goodness around me. But then what about the goodness that happens to me? 😉 I feel a strong urge, almost equivalent to thrill, to share this here.

Yesterday, was a day to remember when my home was filled with laughter and non-stop chatter for nearly 4 hours, when I listened and listened and smiled and laughed along with her. Yes…am talking about the awesomely lovely Pinoo with her impeccable laughter!

When she called to say that she’s coming, the first question I asked was “What do you want to eat at  home?” And she was like “How about Rava dosa?” – she just knows the way to my heart.

But then yday, she went suddenly like “Can you give me Sambar rice?” How can I refuse a request for food?! Made capsicum sambar and loved watching her love my food…its a special moment for me.

As we all say we never felt like we’re meeting for the first time…it happens with us bloggers always 🙂

I hugged her tight like I do to my girls even though she kept saying that she’s sweating…ha ha…who doesn’t sweat in this hot city Chennai 😀

A memorable yesterday and a feeling good me !

A Sunday Summer Musing

Summer is here
And I think things are on a high
The heat for sure is one
And there are some
Which has to be felt
With eyes closed
And when the smells hit you
You smile
Its a Summer high !

The jasmines
Jackfruits
Mangoes sweet
And mangoes to pickle
Makes one spiral
To the heavenly abodes
Of heightened fragrances
To eat
And to feel
To relish
In the headiness
And this is the Summer I love !

The sweat levels are high
Blimey…I say with a sigh
Then I read all about
How good is sweat
To cool us during the heat
And I pacify the mind
That its this heat
Which brings those fragrant things
To life
And upon which depends
Right now, my life !

My selfie girl ;)

Did you wash your face?, asks daddy
And vehemently she nods her head, “Aye”
You look dull and tired, says he
But I just used a face-wash, says she…
Its a never ending conversation, thinks me !

Did you put cream?, asks daddy
Oh yeah…lots of it, assures she
Then why is it that you look so famished
That’s my natural skin, says a defensive she
I know where its going, confirms my silly smile !

Oh !! BTW, did you put powder?, asks daddy
That ought to help to brighten thee
Oh no…please stop daddy…
This is my natural skin, please
See, I told you…says me 😀

And then she huffs and puffs to the balcony
To free from questions of the hallway
The breeze does the trick
And she gets ready to click
Of herself, to prove the skin lovely !

The selfie shots begin
The smile ever so brilliant
The joy catching up to the eyes
Making her glow
With infectious effervescence
The hair framing her face
And she makes funny faces
Its an overload on the SD card
Of multiple pictures
Thronging on single moment
Yet
Its beautiful
That capture
For future
The happiness stored
Is a joy forever
Oh my darling !! How I treasure
Your heart full of pleasure
Of a simple selfie click ❤