Stones and pebbles Under the feet… Puddles and pools To jump over… Lined with trees Feeling the gentle breeze… Rain and storms That lash out… Soft grass and wet Earth To be grounded… Random strangers On the way…
I am constantly Juggling Them all To stay on a path Which, I think Is good for me!
One step at a time I tell myself… Just walk ahead! I call it the meditative walk… Inhale Left…right…left Exhale Right…left…right!
YouTube is my serendipitous partner, for the past few months! When I started my meditation journey, I first tried to sit quietly by myself, as I was initiated into the Heartfulness meditation by my teacher. There were days when I was there, present with my heart, and then there were days when the whole thing was a fiasco. I just wanted some guidance. That was the time I looked into YouTube. Every morning I used to open this video app and used to type “meditation” in the search box. After a week, this app just knew what I liked and preferred! I used to choose meditation videos from different people, exploring their style of meditation, or choose some video based on the topic! I tried chanting as a meditative tool, did visualization techniques, learned how to be mindful of my breath, and many other videos. But what I loved about this whole process was the options that opened up on YouTube for me. They were a reflection of my thoughts and requirements for the day. The first video which showed on my wall was a serendipitous calling to my state of mind and body! One day, I woke up with a bad throat and it was irritating and as I brushed my teeth, I wondered how will I be able to teach that day! As always, I sat for meditation, opened YouTube and the first video that came was the recipe for a concoction to soften the throat irritation. My God! This was like the Universe was answering me; serendipity is thy name huh! I made and drank the concoction and felt a lot better! Another day, I was led to this amazing video on energy healing, which helped me so much! The same day, I got a message about someone doing a live energy healing session and I joined in. It was so profound. Serendipity, again! When I was struggling to deal with a particular emotion inside me, I came across a video link which was on forgiveness. That was an amazing moment in my life when I learned the actual meaning of forgiveness, which helped me to resolve that emotion in me! Again, it was serendipity! I felt guided to exactly what I needed at particular moments of my life. The serendipity of things – zoom meeting invites, meeting new people, sudden travels, were all happening so smoothly in sync with my thoughts! It felt like that I just had to think of something and after some time, I receive an answer through a person, or a text, or a video that amazes me every time! It happens in a very profound way; I just have to keep my mind and heart open and go along with the flow of life!
I begin my day with prayer. There have been days when I didn’t have the energy to move myself to the puja room; I told my prayers lying on the bed. Many days I have sat in my puja room, cried myself dry, as I tried to tell my prayers. There have been days when I was jubilant with joy when I told my prayers. These were some intentions which I used while praying – that this is not alright / that person is not right / this has to change / that has to change / please give me this / make me happy! One day it struck me – the patterns behind the way I was reacting emotionally during praying. I understood that my emotional state was directly related to the intentions of the prayer. In recent times, I started meditating. There has been a lot of acceptance within me to what I think and what I do. There have been times when I have dealt with all those thoughts which I had hidden in the depths of my memory. It was a difficult process but done with great effort. This has led to a sense of appreciation for myself and the people around me. Everyone, like me, is doing their best and trying hard to be their best! So, now I have a simple intention for my prayer – just deep gratitude – a simple thank you, for the day, for that particular moment, for the current breath, for good people around me, for the blessings in my life! This intention inspires me to wake up every morning earlier than others. It gives me the inspiration to light the lamp, offer flowers to my Guru, and to the Higher force that I believe in. This intention inspires me to move on with life! It inspires me to be myself, to be able to express the love I have inside me without fear of rejection, to be the best version of myself. There are days when things are not aligned inside me and there may be feelings other than happiness. On such days, my guiding force is my intention of gratitude for that space on which I stand, feeling my prana in my body!
I am in self-love mode. The situations and challenges of the past three years have enabled the self-love process. And I am so happy about it. Instead of being the “critical me” towards my actions and thoughts, I have become loving towards myself. Getting into the practice of self-love was a huge task for me, initially. The moment I do some work, I switch to a self-criticism mode. I constantly look for faults and there is constant inner-chatter – “this is a wrong way of doing things” – “you need to do it at a faster pace” – “you used to do it better before” – “you are not doing with enough sincerity” – like this and many more! For many years, I had succumbed to this chatter of self-criticism. The mind won’t rest and I was constantly stressed out, anxious about results – perfection was my goal, and this level of perfection was becoming unreachable! When I consciously decided to accept myself for who I am and whatever I do, in whatever level of perfection, there was this deep sense of acceptance within me! But I took a lot of time to quieten the chatter in my mind. My go-to methods to quieten the mind chatter and to strengthen my acceptance of myself were chanting and music. I joined a chanting class. Even though I am not continuing the class, the chanting continues – it is a part of my day where I work on quietening the chatter of the mind. Listening to music reduced the mind chatter a lot. Choosing a playlist of songs that I enjoyed during my childhood days provided the much-needed quietude inside me! Coloring, drawing mandalas also made me feel calm and relaxed and I always felt quieter, as I let the strokes cut through my mind chatter!
Are you the wave? Rising from deep stillness With emotions and words With ideas brimming bright With elated happiness And hit all those Onto the silent shore And as though the job is done Recede back to being silent…
Or are you the shore? The strong and sturdy Resilient to waves And taunamis too The wall is strong Which keeps the shore intact And not dance to the tunes Of the consistent waves That keep hitting…
Or are you the wind? That which stimulates The stillness of water And stirs deep within For ideas to emerge For waves to unfold And also be part of the journey Till the wave hits the shore…
Or are you the observer? The one who knows the wind The wave and the shore; The stimulant The object and the target…
Some days I am the wind There are days when I am overwhelmed like the waves With ideas and emotions… And then some days I am the sturdy shore With an attitude of “bring it on” The yearning though Is to be an observer!
I heard my mother-in-law hum a tune. Curious to know what is she humming, I gently go near her so that I don’t distract her. Oh my! Her voice is still as sweet as her younger years, especially when she hums.
And I wondered what is this song she is humming!! Bingo! Found the song and here it is…
I quickly looked up the lyrics of the song and kept staring at the screen. Those lyrics are just the perfect ones we need for today’s uncertain times.
When I was just a little girl I asked my mother what will I be Will I be pretty will I be rich Here’s what she said to me Que sera sera Whatever will be will be The future’s not ours to see Que sera sera What will be will be When I grew up and fell in love I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead Will we have rainbows day after day Here’s what my sweetheart said Que sera sera Whatever will be will be The future’s not ours to see Que sera sera What will be will be Now I have children of my own They ask their mother what will I be Will I be handsome will I be rich I tell them tenderly Que sera sera Whatever will be will be The future’s not ours to see Que sera sera What will be will be Que sera sera
Just re-reading or re-emphasizing those lines – “Whatever will be will be, The future’s not ours to see” made me go Wow!
What perfect lines for today’s scenario! And how perfectly my MIL brought it to my attention just by humming it. We just need to listen to the wise words of our elders.
Instead of fighting against the times, acceptance of things will help us to remain calm and less stressed. Let us take these times to reflect on our thoughts and actions. Let us stay home and let us focus inward into us!
This beautiful click was taken by my dear friend Rekha! It is always an uplifting moment when friends send me pictures of skyscapes thinking about my love for those! Also it is surely a moment of self-satisfaction to know that my pictures and posts have been quite impressive enough for people to remember my love for such pictures.
The picture above is a perfect depiction of hope.
It all started with the ball of fire Which showed up this morning In the eastern sky Killing the darkness Lighting this Earth Bringing in the chirping of birds Those rays that flow gently From the sun to humans Is the reaching out By nature As a hug To reinstate the hope That this is part of the phase Which has to happen All is well Just stay hopeful!