Day 19 – Awwww Moments 1

While I was writing posts the past 18 days about my girls, there have been moments inside me when I went Awwww over my daughter and I felt like holding her as the little baby in my hand.  It’s just a fleeting moment – that thought comes and vanishes, as I enjoy the present bonding with my girls more than anything in this world !

And so, here it goes, my Awww moments with the elder one 🙂

• She was born as a smiling child, never crying for anything. Even if she was hungry, she’ll just let out some whimpering noises, but never cry uncontrollably. I’ve never seen such a happy child before. The Pediatrician used to be quite surprised when she never even flinched for vaccinations. Such a beautiful smiling child just made my world wonderfully happy. When left alone, she’ll be happily talking and smiling and laughing at the wall, the pics on the wall – a self-contented child. My first child who made me go Awww with her smile, is such a special one.
• She started sitting when she was about 6 months old. And without crawling and bruising her knees, she went to walking stage – actually running and spreading the joy to us too. I still cherish that picture of her sitting and the next moment standing holding the refrigerator. An absolute Awww moment for the mother in me.
• I had gone to my mom’s house to deliver the little one.  And whenever a plane passes by, my first-born will rush to my brother and will squeal in delight, “Mama, Mama, Zzzzzzzz” and make an action with her little hand to denote the plane. And so he’ll carry her and rush to the terrace, two floors up, to show her the plane. Even now, when she sees a plane, she holds my hand, looks at it and smiles very happily.
• She played the part of the elder sister perfectly, taking care of the little one and calling out to me when I needed to change diapers. Even now, the younger one teases her saying that she is more a mother to her than me. Awwww 🙂
• She has always been fascinated by elephants. Somehow “Aanai” instead of Yanai (tamil) has stuck with her still.  We had elephant stuffed toys, elephant wall hangings, elephant this and elephant that all around the house. Even now, she makes me go Awww with her love for elephants and how just a picture of that species will light up her face.
• We had just put her in Kinder garden.  And she used to cry so much as she was forced to leave me. Her teacher, a very sweet lady, will hold her hand and take her wherever she goes. When the first-born was with the teacher, she used to be fine. The moment the teacher vanishes for a second, she’ll start her crying.
  Recently, my husband met with Mr.R. Little did I know how the world was so small. One day, as we were crossing a bridge, we happened to see Mr.R and his wife crossing us in the opposite side. My husband waved at Mr.R and we left it at that. I couldn’t even look at his wife, due to the sun’s glare. But I guess she recognized me and called and spoke with me, identifying herself as my first born’s Kinder Garden teacher. It was an Awww moment for me, for she remembered my baby girl and how she used to hold her hand always.
• When she sleeps on my shoulder talking non-stop about what happened during the day….
  When we both sit and chat about the sun, moon, clouds, relationships, plants, dogs – anything, all over a cup of coffee…
  When her love for jaggery shows up, just like me…
  When she is absolutely focused even while making a simple omelet or sandwich…
  And when she calls me her best friend ❤

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Day 18 – Honest perspectives

There’s a kind of honest policy that runs as the base in my family. When we met before our wedding for the first time, that was something we started following – being honest – without realizing that we are making way for our daughters to follow suit.  And that has been the biggest example to live by and also the most responsible lesson taught, in my view.

For whenever things go wrong during school life, or when they get reprimanded in school for something, I’ll always be given the honest explanation of what really happened.  When friendships fail or when they want to talk about somebody, there’ll be an honest talk about it.  It could be because of a misunderstood problem by the daughter or by the friend. But the moment a transparent and honest view-point is presented before me, I just go with my child and support her to the fullest. I just trust them implicitly as they’ve learnt the “being honest” lesson very well.  I stress over this one point – Even when she has made a mistake, I support her. Because she has been honest in accepting it to me.

It gives a mom like me, who used to be paranoid for various things that happen around, a sense of peace to know what really happened.

I used to sit with my girls during their class exams to help them revise the subjects.  But I always had it in the back of my head that I should let them be how they are and they should be allowed to study to their level and the level I expect them to study and score marks.  So, I helped them all along till Grade 5 and left them to study on their own from Grade 6. Their projects were theirs to do. Maybe I’ll help them to go shopping for buying stuff for their projects.  And the little one, suddenly went from 95% to 75% or so, when she started studying on her own. I knew the teacher will be shocked. I was waiting for the PTA to happen.  And when the teacher saw me, she just started worrying so much about the percentage that has suddenly dropped. I calmly smiled at her and said that this 75% is her own effort, with no help from me. And so it needs to be appreciated.  The little one was very happy that I told her teacher honestly that it is all her effort and that she needs to be appreciated.  And I too understood that it is not enough to talk about honesty, we also need to set an example of living by it.

Once when her friend suddenly stopped talking to her, the younger one was very upset. I suggested that she ignore it and leave it.  But she went up to her and told her “Whatever problem you have just tell it to me honestly. Do not hide behind this silence !”  Yeah, she can be just bluntly honest.

She was being teased with another boy, when they were hardly 11 years old. She and this boy are good friends and she didn’t like being teased like that. So, she used to shout at all the friends and tell “Honestly, we are only friends”. But this boy had kept quiet, enabling the others to continue teasing.  She was very upset with him because he didn’t tell the truth – which was that they are only friends.  She refused to talk with him till he apologized to her properly.

Once she left the Tupperware tiffin box in the railway station and boarded  the train, while coming back from school. She realized her mistake. Got down in the next station. Went back and checked and it was gone. Came home and told me the whole thing.  Accepting the mistake and owning it up makes one a better person.  We, as parents, are not going to gobble them up for when they tell us about a mistake done.

My husband too always insists on owning up for their mistakes, for we are human.  It actually helps us to deal with it in a better way than knowing from others about what our children have done.

All said and done, now its a way of life. And that is how things are done here.  It feels good to have instilled one of the best qualities to my children.

 

Day 17 – To my dear daughters

Are you feeling stressed up
To live up to the expectations
Of people around you,
Including your dad and me??
Please don’t be hard on you…

Many a times, you accommodate and adjust
For small and silly things
To see your loved ones smile.
But remember the same will be expected of you
For bigger life decisions too !
So just be yourself…

It’s OK to show the world what you like
And especially what you don’t like.
Just make sure that there’s a smile
Along everything you say !
Your honest opinion only matters…

Knowledge is important
But marks aren’t.
The GPAs don’t matter
When you know what you want in life.
Learn, help, love and be grateful…

You’re your own unique self
And you cannot be compared to another.
Neither its wise to compare
What you have and what others have.
Be happy and contented always…

Do not be stubborn, be ready for change
Every second of your life
With change comes something fabulous
That holds the spark
To turn your dream into reality.
Be willing to change…

My biggest learning has been to “Love Myself – Plus and Minus inclusive”
And I pass it on to you both
Do not be critical of you what you do !
Done a mistake? Accept and move on
Just love yourself…
(Remember our fav movie JWM and the dialogue “Mein apni favorite hoon”)

Day 15 – Of marriages and children

Recently I read this cute post by Comfy [link] and I suggest you read it too 🙂

It’s absolutely sweet and funny when children talk about marriage and children.  Their perception of the whole thing at that age is super cute, I say.

My younger one used to say “Ma, I think I like boy babies. They are more naughty than girl babies.  And also I would like to have a baby boy when I grow up.  No….no….I don’t want to get married and all, just one baby boy is fine.  And you stay with me to take care of the baby boy”.

She even asked me once if I was pregnant with a baby boy, looking at my not-so-fit tummy. And I was so annoyed that my tummy looked like a pregnant lady when I was not so. Somehow the idea of a baby brother appealed to her so that they can jointly do mischief.

Watching kissing and hugging scenes in movies used to make them giggle and whisper among themselves a lot. But we have better conversations and bonding now, that they directly talk to me about it all. No inhibitions and I love it.  Sometimes I want to know how different their mind can mind.

And the elder one too has never agreed about getting married – of course, none of us force them to.  They just keep talking about this and that to me and this used to be one favorite topic for a long time – her justification of not to get married.  But later on she decided that she’ll have a simple wedding and the extravagant spending of money doesn’t appeal to her.  While the younger one is poised for a grand wedding.

I don’t know how they’ll change when the marriages do happen in time.

My classmate’s daughter is getting married on Wednesday and the whole day my mind has been filled with such thoughts related to it.

Day 14 – My Valentine’s informal ways :D

I’m an August born. But for a long time, my husband presumed it was September. And even now he jokes with me sometime “Hey, you’re September na??” 😀 😀 There was even a year when he forgot to wish me and the reason was tremendous work pressure. Sigh. But all these were before the girls took charge.

I remember how they used to bully him secretly as to what gift he has planned for me. I knew when they used to talk in hushed tones with him.  And then he’ll surprise me with a sari or card or something.  It used to look so funny when he smiles sheepishly at the girls assuring them of the gift he bought for their mom.

Even on Valentine’s day, the girls used to call him and pester him to get roses for me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have even bothered with all these Valentine’s day formalities.  He has never had any interest in gifting cards too. But he used to take the effort to buy me cards just because I’m so crazy about cards and the words in it mean a lot to me.  The elder one always makes beautiful cards for us for every occasion.  And all the cards she has gifted him, I keep collecting them all for the amount of effort and love she has put into it.

He’s like that and sometimes he’ll even be like “I’ve given myself to you…what more big gift you want?” 😀 😀   ha ha…that is indeed true ! Some relationships mean so much to us that it is indeed a blessing !

The loud voice for affirming his ideas might mislead people but his honest and sincere heart has always won my heart ❤

 

Note: I had promised to myself that I’ll write for my girls and about my girls this whole month. But the elder one told me to include her dad in the ramblings, at least today and so here I’m listening to my girl 🙂

 

Day 11 – The visionary episode

We had just returned from a trip to Singapore. The whole trip was so amazing and we had such a great time there.  And then we settled for another extended holiday at mom’s place.

I remember very well – it was the day of Chitra Pournami (the full moon day in the Tamil month of Chithirai). When the moon is wonderful and glowing, we always have our dinner in the terrace, under the moonlight. It’s such an amazing experience. Added to the comfort levels were my patti’s amazing hands (its called kai manam in tamil) – those hands had a magic to them. Whatever she touched tasted so delicious that we’ll surely be licking our hands and asking for more.  And when she mixes the simple Thayir sadam (curd rice) and gives a spoonful in our hands, we wait for the customary Maavadu (pickled tiny mangoes) or the Vetha kuzhambu to be poured in the center of the Thayir sadam and we gulp it down very quickly, preparing ourselves for the next round of rice that comes our way. Even thinking and writing about it makes me miss my patti and her delicious food !

**Pardon for wandering into Patti stories – couldn’t help it**

And on this particular Chitra Pournami, me and my two little ones (the younger one was three years), my sister, brothers, dad and mom were all there to feast on what my patti was going to feed us in our hands.

My mom’s place was in the second floor and we had to climb two more floors to reach the terrace. We took all the necessary food, pappad, water, towel and started climbing. I was constantly watching the little one, as she is very much prone to get distracted and not see her way.  The staircase was lighted well with tube lights. And we reached the terrace.  The terrace was dark except for the moonlight and what an amazing sight it was.

We had such fun eating under the moonlight. One of the best ever experiences to have in one’s lifetime, is to stare at the stars and moon and that’s the moment when the Universe tells you that you are absolutely insignificant compared to the size of the stellar bodies. Its such a humbling experience.

I was also constantly showing the girls the different constellations all the while feeding them.  The elder one managed to eat on her own, but the little one was finding it difficult to take the rice in her hand and gulp it too.

After we were done with eating and relaxing, we started to get down for home slowly.  It was getting late and we wanted to hit the bed.

The moment we went to the stair case landing, the little one said, “Now, I can see you clearly Ma”. I was shocked.  When I asked her “Didn’t you see me clearly in the terrace?”, she said No.  She even said that she couldn’t see properly in the night lamp in the bedroom, because it was dark for her. And she just assumed that even we cannot see in the night lamp light and never told me before about it.

It was a rude shock to me. We rushed to the ophthalmologist the next day and found that she needed corrective glasses.  She still wears them.

But that moment when she said with such clarity about not being able to see me in the terrace helped me to take her to the doctor and get the problem sorted out.

Day 10 – Naming conventions

One of the moms I know mentioned that her daughter is calling her by name and that she doesn’t know how to change that in her. Since everyone around her calls her by name, the child too has picked up that usage.  I just told her that it’ll change once the child starts going to a school, as she starts listening to other children referring to their mom as Amma.

And this conversation, reminded me of my elder one, who used to call my husband by name, when she started talking. She somehow got it right to call me Ma but Appa was not happening so easily.

So, slowly I started calling my husband as Daddy, which she promptly followed too.  After sometime, I used to tell her that Daddy means Appa. While she was playing too, I’ll ask her suddenly, “Daddy means ??”  and she’ll reply promptly Appa.

I think I overdid that question and answer session when one day she came up to me and said “DaddyPa” !! Oh my…our lessons are learnt the hard way, isn’t it parents ?? Sigh !

She kept running up and down with her new-found word “DaddyPa”.

And she didn’t stop with that.  She realized that she needs to have a secondary name for herself too apart from what we call her at home. From her own Oxford Dictionary, she chose to be called as “Aathrooooo”.  She used to refer to herself with that name, making statements in third person using “Aathrooooo” instead of using her name and talking in first person.  Sometimes it was quite a task to understand what she was talking – all this third person and first person was absolutely confusing for us too.

She even shortened her sister’s name and gave her a cute pet name, either due to her limited pronouncing capabilities and the wonderful childish blabber that accompanied it.

Akka (sister) became Adhdha…
Patti (grandmother) became Abhbha…
We did have our fun times deciphering the meaning of sentences she spoke 😀

Names…oh yeah, how does your child call you ?? 😀

Day 9 – The mystery of “Sathumaaav”

The younger one was around two years, if I remember right.  And the girls have begun to watch some TV shows. There wasn’t much for children then, but still a few minutes here and there was all that caught their attention.

That day too was no different. Elder one was busy involved in scribbling on the wall. Oh yeah, the whole wall was colored till her height and above that it was in cream color – the regular distemper paint 😀

The younger one was running around while the TV was on.

And suddenly the younger one came running to me, screaming at the top of her voice, “Sathumaaav” !! Ha ha…it was such a funny sight. I had no clue of what that meant.

But she kept shouting “Sathumaav” the whole day.  Something had caught her fancy, but we didn’t know what it was.

The Daddy came home to be surprised by the same word.

We showed her different things which she might refer to that word. But no…she never pointed to anything to say “Sathumaav”.

All of us were very confused because she never stopped saying that word.

It became the mystery word.

My neighbors, who used to play with her became curious too. But none of us were intelligent enough to decipher what she meant…yeah seriously, that’s what I felt !!

The mystery went on for a week to 10 days.

I was feeding food to my younger one and my mil was watching some tamil soap show. And suddenly during the break, this little girl runs to the TV pointing to the Shaktimaan Ad featuring Mukesh Khanna with her joyful scream “Sathumaav”. One part of me was relieved that she finally pointed to something to which she was referring so long and another part of me was laughing, imagining the new word for the Hero man 😀 😀

OMG !! She had been referring that Shaktimaan Ad all these days !! *shocked mommy*

The mystery was solved, everyone was informed about it and we keep laughing about “Sathumaav” even today 😀 😀

It was cutest baby thing of her, which I cherish !!

 

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Hurray !! I’ve blogged for 9 days now and it feels absolutely blogfantastic 😀

 

 

Day 8 – I see myself in You

Yesterday, elder one was watching me and my mom have a conversation.

And this is what she told me. “Ma, you’re so much like your mom. And I see myself in You. The way you answer her, is exactly the way I answer you”

Somehow, this is bound to happen. Its either genetic or influenced by being in the same house for a long time or may be we want to be like our role model mothers.

With two girls around, I see myself in both of them, but for different attitudes which they’ve picked up from me. While the elder one is more calm and composed like me, the younger one is a fire-brand like her Dad and aunt 😀  She calls a spade a spade, whether the other person likes it or not. Me and elder one will never give out our opinions unless you value it and ask for it.

I’m a first child too. I find that another reason for similarities between me and my elder one. And we both are people who think about things in our minds more and we allow them to materialize slowly and steadily.  We are are very cautious in making real-time friendships and also in letting our true self out.

The younger one relates to this personality of mine – of being die-hard romantic and also for sharing the love to watch the rom-com movies, sometimes we even watch it repeatedly many a times and we are never bored of it. And there are some scenes, for which I shed a tear or two, every time I watch it.  I’ve spoken of the innumerable times when I get all choked up and emotional listening / watching the Jana Gana Mana in the movie K3G, by that little boy. I don’t know what’s in that scene, but it happens to me !!  And that is something my Dad will relate to me…he he 😀

But I see myself changing, with the onset of blogging and facebook and now, the business venture. I’m able to be more social and talk to strangers too, which used to be a big no no for me before !

Intentionally or not, we are a reflection of our parents in certain habits, characteristics, phobias and such things. And our children will be our reflection.

I see myself in You – Duh…you said it 😀 😀

Day 7 – My daddy strongest

Since the time this Dhara cooking oil came up with this Ad and I surely know this will be in the beginning of this millenium, this ad and the phrase “My Daddy Strongest” is the fav mantra of the elder one.

BTW have you seen the Ad ? Remember to watch for the cute little girl in the end.

My elder one related herself to the little girl who comes in the last scene and used to keep saying “My Daddy Strongest” always.  And the most important thing was I was forced into buying Dhara Health Cooking oil. This is the perfect example how children take part in choices of brands and why many Ads target the children to capture the market. (That’s a story for another day)

And of course, the Daddy at home was super thrilled to his daughter’s repeated squealing of “My Daddy Strongest” and he used to look at me so proudly of his creation 😉

He’ll also hold his arms in right angle so that she can swing from his hands as an affirmation of her strong daddy.

Such a lovable sight !!

I just wanted to keep it short and sweet on Sunday 😀