Lessons yet again…

Recently my friend posted this on her timeline:

For a long time, it had seemed to me that life was about to begin…..
But there was always some obstacle in the way, 
something to be gotten through first, 
some unfinished business, 
time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin.

At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

  • – Alfred Souza

I would just make a small edit to the above quote – I would use “challenges” instead of obstacles. We think of them as obstacles when we don’t understand what is life all about. But when we understand that all those “so called obstacles” maketh our life, the right word becomes “challenges”.

I copied this quote in an effort to write a post, but its been more than 2 weeks and I’ve not written a word. The simple reason was there were many challenges to be met that didn’t give me time to sit in front of my keyboard. But throughout this time, my mind went around my archives of thoughts over the last two decades!

I was the peacefully-quiet-routine-loving woman. I loved my motherhood moments. Life was super fun or so I thought with the regular routines of managing a household. Shopping for home, for the girls, for friends were all major events I looked forward to. Walking, exercising, yoga were all done to burn my extra calories. Food was top priority and all the chores revolved around it, everyday. Get-together with friends, breakfast meets, weekly dinner meets were on the cards. I had my own house and I was feeling on top of the world that I was finally settled. But there was this feeling inside which said that life is not complete with this routine. I just didn’t know what it was that I was missing. But I just didn’t allow that feeling to grow nor did I listen to it. The fun which I having felt more wonderful.

There were moments when I missed my career but one look at my daughters erased any such thoughts. Being with them was my own choice over a career and I was having the time of my life.

Fast forward to the last five years…

We moved base to Chennai and selling our house at Hyderabad was a logical decision. It tore me up but I went ahead to do it. That was like the first jolt of those “challenges” in my life.

When the husband started his own business, I joined with him full time. Little did I know what I was expecting with that jump.

I was shaken up from my reverie of to-do lists – there was no routine for any day. This bothered me a lot in the beginning as I just can’t tolerate change of plans; even a power failure will make me annoyed at things.

There were times when things were not in my control and I was helpless; but I was feeling guilty like silly…

Schedules kept changing…

And I was apprehensive to this feeling of things not happening the way I want them to happen.

After repeatedly facing unplanned days and events and after repeated knocks on the thinking door in my mind, I hit the Zen moment…

It was a hard earned truth; the learning to let go! I accepted that each day is different and new things can be done each day in a different way. I learnt that the routine 9-5 job is boring and this was like living life to the fullest. The mystery of not knowing what’s next and what the next day is bringing to me is absolutely exciting. Am learning to love this excitement.

Along with it, came the realization to “love myself” as it led to inner peace of mine. When I am my usual critical self, my efficiency goes down. But making mistakes and accepting them with a smile helps me in dealing with the mistake by giving a solution to it.

I’ve understood that being absolutely busy 24*7 is such a blessing, as the mind is always focused on the challenge at that moment. It helps in overcoming negative thoughts, wild imaginations about situations and wondering what others are thinking about me…

I feel much lighter and I don’t stress too much on following my rigid practices at home. I don’t stress when I am not able to cook – yeah…surprise there! I sternly remind myself not to look at the heap of unfolded clothes…yup, that’s certainly not my usual self! These days, I cook something so that there is food to keep us going. And sometimes I choose my outfit from the heap of unfolded clothes! The interesting fact is that there are no hard feelings about this to myself!

My work is my holy place and all that I do revolves around it. When Lord Krishna / Ganesha came calling, I didn’t stress myself for my usual elaborate food preparations. Rather, I prayed sincerely for 5 minutes and let the work take over the day. It felt very soothing when I didn’t criticize myself for not doing the kozhukattai or the seedai. Rather I was happy to give fruits as prasadam.

As they say, its all in the mind…its all in the thinking and am glad that am able to face up to my challenges in a more joyous way!

And today I say that there have been lessons which has been the result of my own experiences, which I am sure has made me happier and a better person.

Yes, I’ve changed but that’s what life is all about, right?

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Happy birthday, my sunshine girl <3

Her smiling face is her passport
To all the good things that comes her way!
Her perseverance is her guiding light
To those amazing things that make up her life!

Her vivacity
Friendliness
Intelligence
The josh to live life on her own terms
Standing up for what she thinks is right
Her fiercely independent nature
Gives her the glow of joy of living!

She enthralls her group of friends
With her laughter
Lame jokes
And a great zeal for doing things!

Her clarity of thought
On things to do
On her studies
And way beyond too
Makes me so damn proud of her!

And this is the best time to thank God
For bringing her into my life
Through me
As she is the sunshine
Which I need everyday, to be!  

Happy birthday, my sunshine girl ❤

Thoughtful Thursday

A new temple to visit
New procedures to follow
Buy this color flowers for God…
Buy ghee for lighting lamps
So that your wish is fulfilled…
Start a puja cycle for 48 days…
Spread the paddy grains in front of God
And write your wishes
To find them fulfilled…
108 circumambulations will help…
Donate to the temple annadhanam…
Give your details and we’ll mail you prasadams…
The list is endless
For wishes to be fulfilled…
Every item in the list is followed
And more lists are welcome too…

But outside the temple
The old lady who is hungry is ignored…
The animals are shooed away when they come near…
Helping others is found time consuming…
People think that talking loud and arguing
Are the ways of this world…
Bargaining for a few rupees from a local seller
Is being the smart one…

Somewhere along this journey
In search of the never ending things of life
There is a heavy loss of humanity
And kindness…

Let our hearts soar like this gopuram
In reaching to the heights
Of humanity
In looking out for others…
In praying for others…
Talking a lot by being silent…
Doing an act of kindness everyday…
Bringing a smile to one person everyday…
That is rising above the ordinary – just like the gopuram!

This and that from a mother!

I remember the day she started loving paneer…
Its still so fresh in memory, the day she started having milk like other kids, overcoming her allergy to milk…
The day she stopped telling “buuuu” for any color I ask and started telling the colors so clearly without the hint of baby language…yes, I remember…
The day she stopped referring to herself with her self-made name “athroo” and started referring to herself as I / me / myself – very fresh in memory…
The day all the baby talk blabbering stopped…very much remember them…

Now, I wonder when her fav color changed from blue to pink or the other colors which she didn’t prefer before!
I
I wonder when she started preferring geometric designs on her dress!
When did she grow up so much to give psychological lessons to me!!
Or when did she become my mother to scold me for getting a headache..he he!
When did she start disliking her fav potatoes and started liking the fruit salad!

Am just sitting here and knowing about the changes suddenly, without any warning and am like, when did this happen!? I just sit and wonder about them, as they keep going through the changes.

As a birthday keeps approaching, the mommy is going through a lot of thought process…

Those real life incidents as Memes :D

There are so many memes that do the rounds based on the current trending topic. But memes made for the mom and her ways with her children are applicable forever.

Especially listed below are a few which my daughters have identified with me…he he…guilty of some…but at that moment it was required 😀

This one is the best. I always used to wake them up like 30 mins early. The problem is I don’t like to be late for anything and I insisted that my children learn that quality in life. But now if you ask me, I should have let them be as they are and that they will learn things when they are ready for it. Sorry girls for stealing those precious sleep moments!

 

ha ha…this is one is epic 😀
I used to roll my eyes like that for accidental use of curse words and my elder one took it up so seriously that she would roll her eyes when the younger one used it with her.  And I think she still does that with her sister..he he…:D 😀  How I imparted those rolling eyes to my girl?! ha ha…this is true life incident!

Oh yes…many times I think…even before they start with something, I’ll assume its going to be some other thing and then say no without hearing properly. Then later, while we were lying down in bed, she’ll explain the same thing to me and I’ll be feeling absurdly foolish for having said no.

This my daughter sent me, so I guess she has done this many times 😉
But that smile is the sweetest, I tell you 🙂

Ohhh…this happened then and is happening now…ha ha…its a competitive world, I say 😀 😀

I was totally taken aback to be used like this 😉 But I guess its quite natural..ha ha 😀

Am guilty of doing this…umpteen number of times! Especially, when I had got them phones for the first time, the top most instruction is to pick up my call in the first bell itself. And if it doesn’t happen, the missed calls will increase. Now, I call and if they don’t answer, I try to instruct myself that there is a valid reason for not answering and that I should wait for a return call. It takes time, even with mothers…sigh 😛

This one happens all through the holidays! Shifting from one room to another in search of a warmer bed…sigh…those days !

So, dear mommies, do you relate to any of these, in your life? 😀

Come on…spill it!

Microblog Mondays: Women’s sports – watching is biased too…

As we all know, the recent headlines has been that the Women’s cricket team is doing extremely well in the World Cup tournament.  Even though the viewership has increased to watch women play cricket or any other game, there is this chauvinistic mentality to not watch women play sports and where they doing it extremely good too.

Any sport is a combination of strength and technicality. Some require a need for greater strength, some need more technical execution. Some sports are a treat to the eyes like synchronized swimming or floor exercise in gymnastics; while visual beauty is appreciated, the hard work behind it for such perfect performance is looked over.

The application of strength or technical precision or a mixture of these two, on the arena or field and to remain calm in a tension packed zone and perform well too – all these require the sports person to be well balanced in body and mind.

So why the bias in watching women’s sports and especially those when they are performing well?


Missing what matters!

Today is a day of high-strung emotions.

I went to the temple, as always on Saturdays. Just as I was about to start my pradakshinam, I saw a little girl hugging her father so tightly. Her face was glowing with her love. Even though the father found the hug a bit too tight, he was revelling in her love for him.

That moment broke the tear dam, which was holding up for a long time.

I wiped my tears and started the pradakshinam.

Then came running two small girls, in polka-dotted frocks, all smiling and absolutely happy to be there. That was the next moment. The tears couldn’t be controlled.

What’s this with these little girls and their showing of love, that breaks me down!!

When my elder one was little, she used to wait for her Appa to come back from work. She’ll be looking out for him, from the bedroom window. Since her height was an issue, she used to stand on the cot’s head stand and look at the window with wide opened eyes. Among all the bikes that passed our home, she’ll rightly identify her Appa’s with the sound of the engine. And will start shrieking with joy looking at him and waving to him.

Now, there is a role reversal. The father and the mother put together wait to see their little girl run towards them…

I am holding strong. But there are days when that strength fails you in comparison to the love thread in between.

To put in one simple line – an emotionally strung mother is missing her daughters!