Self-introspective mode ON

Pic courtesy: Google

Recently, I had a dream. And immediately I decided that I will not share it here, in my space, for I felt it was too personal to put it out in writing. But today’s introspective mood of mine has won over and here I am writing about my dream and my feelings towards it.

I see myself lying on the floor, with blood flowing through the nose and it clearly looks like I am dying. I see my daughters on either side of me. And all this was happening in a house where I used to stay as a teenager. I could also see the man who was walking towards the house as my husband. Then I could hear what I was talking to my daughters; the silly me was so paranoid that the soul will depart soon and was frantically telling all the passwords in all the apps and websites for my daughters to note it down!

Ok…that was the dream! When I woke up from that dream, I laughed out aloud. And kept smiling and laughing whenever I remembered it. The whole idea of not passing on my passwords gave me the worst nightmare, in my dream; it sounded very silly to the present me.

Now, observing that dream from a more matured point of view, I wonder why didn’t I worry about that favorite sari of mine which I didn’t wear many times! I wonder why didn’t I fret over all those jewelry which I loved to buy but never wore them! I wondered at that unused purse, notebook, pen, saucepan, wine glass, coffee mug – anything that I savored for a better day to come. And I had just kept postponing all those favorite things without enjoying them at the present moment.

I had reserved all the good things for a later date.

I had written love notes for all my favorite people for them to see later.

I always plan on going on a trip that I never seem to get to.

Everything was planned for a later date.

Then the dream happened.

My better self took over. This is the day I had waited for. Today I shall proclaim all the love and fondness for all my favorite people in this world. I will hug them with my love and kindness. I will use that saucepan. I took out my favorite coffee mug.

And suddenly the day I am living mattered.

I got a plant. I smelt the flowers. I stared at clouds. I made coffee. I sang my favorite song. I colored in my mandala book. I learned to forgive all those things which happened in the past.

I suddenly understood what I had to do with my life. It is to live this moment!

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