Its only when I became a mother, I realized and understood many aspects of my mother. Till then, she was my provider and all I could relate to was materialistic things and emotional support.
But becoming a mother myself made a huge difference in my perspective of my amma. For the biggest gift she had given me was freedom – freedom of choice, expression, to explore, to experience things my way. Combined with the concept of morality that she told in the most subtle way, it was a deadly combination to keep me on track of doing the right things at the same time giving me wings to fly!
I could explore and come back to ground reality. Thank you amma for that.
I think I had already reminisced about my amma’s attached detachment. She asked me to go but held me when I came back. She allowed me to make my own dreams and live them too but smiled at me with encouragement when I came back. Even today, as I hold my motherhood as the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and as I keep celebrating my status as a mother, she is the silent presence in all my thoughts and celebrations.
As daughters, we are greatly inspired by mothers and try to imbibe them in many ways in our life. I was no different. I imbibed and then improved, thanks to the thought of freedom which was passed on as I was born.
I learnt her ways and then made them to suit mine. And then I see her changing her ways to suit mine. That was too strong a message. Here is a woman who is leading by example. She is changing herself constantly and continuously to the changing world of grandchildren in an effort to reiterate to me – you better change with the times.
My amma was brought up in an orthodox household and her impressions of dos and donts are a mile long, thanks to her upbringing. Coming from such a background, she has changed with the times again and again. Its like hitting the nail on the head for me, to prepare me for the future times ahead!
Here is a heart full of gratitude and love to my wonderful amma, for bringing me to this world, for teaching me the flexibility to change, for helping me understand the value of freedom and the ability to hold on to the quiet strength deep inside in making things happen!
Ma, it is not enough that I wish you only today! I am eternally grateful for all that you have done and still doing for me, for being a mother is not a temporary job but a lifetime process! I might be a mother to two grown-up girls but I still yearn for that motherly affection! Thank you for being there for me, amma ❤