There’s this Tamil program called Kalyanamalai which helps prospective brides and grooms to meet each other. And in this program the frequently heard phrase is – “The girl should be adjusting to the family”; mind you, its only the girl. And the girl’s parents are very proud to say that she’s very adjusting.
Isn’t the marriage about adjustments from both sides?? Somewhere along the journey in the past centuries the meanings have changed.
One girl is a MSc MPhil – her family says she’ll also adjust to the groom, his family and everyone else. What about her? Her career? Her personality? Her individuality?
We bring up children telling them to adjust to everyone around. The very few who don’t are marked stubborn, not listening to elders…stuff like that. But those who have their way from younger years are damn lucky to put forth their thoughts always.
And then there are people who need to unlearn all the “adjust stuff” to begin the process of understanding one’s true potential and start loving their own self. Self love is the biggest asset anyone can think of.
It’s always those people who are being their own self who make a mark in this world. Being stubborn about our own thoughts, beliefs and giving a damn to what others think is kind of liberating and takes a lot of effort to reach there.
Did you happen to notice the Amazon ad where the working woman adjusts all the time and keeps wearing the same sari for every function? It sure is aimed at shopping but the fact that we adjust so much that we don’t even buy things for ourselves is quite sad.
There are times when we adjust to our loved ones but let it not become a norm for us.
Being YOU…such an important lesson which I’ve embraced in recent times has made me happy from inside, made me to understand who I really am, to say No when I don’t like something and finally to express opinions and to be heard.
The world adjusting happens though slowly… People notice that we’ve changed and are sometimes surprised or stunned by our new love for the self. And then they adjust and get into the groove to say “Aahh…she’s like that only” ha ha Mission achieved!