This husband of mine is a Marketing guy. He is crazy about meeting people, going to new places and always being on the move. When I got married to him, the thought of seeing new places excited me so much, as I’ve never ventured out of Chennai, for the major part of my years spent with parents. Of course, there were few holidays but I remembered none so well.
So, with dreams of going places and meeting new people, we started our life together. Even though we started our life in Chennai, we started moving every 3 years, once in 2 years and we have even stayed for a year in Chennai during transit to Hyderabad. My husband changed jobs and we had to move to a new place. It excited me. The packing, shifting, making new friends, learning new cities, their culture, the temples and of course staying away from all the relatives, gave me a sort of high that I can do what I want 😀
In all these excitements, I missed out on one small thing.
My daughters were very young and I kept changing their school for every shift, as was required. We, as parents, thought that this was a great opportunity for my daughters to learn about adapting to different situations and making new friends every time they joined a new school. And the girls were very happy too, to go to a new school.
During a recent conversation, I came to understand that there is so much joy in studying with friends who are together since KG and still sticking onto each other. Yes, I’ve had that opportunity to study with my friends since KG and till I finished school. I’ve denied my daughters that joy. Sometimes I feel bad.
In our quest for life and career, we had made so many choices, as parents. And all the time, we were thinking that our choices are going to benefit our daughters. But recently, it dawned on me to look at things from their point of view. Even though they have done well in making new friends and sometimes sticking on to old ones, it’s not the same joy as studying with your bestie for years together.
Sometimes even the best of decisions, appear different when viewed from the other side of the river, right ??
UmaS Reflections 
When I was growing up, I changed schools just like your daughters as dad was in a transferable job. Though we missed the friends we left behind, it also gave me more exposure to different places, people and cultures. It helped me adapt better. Of course, I missed having childhood friends. But even now I am in touch with some school friends. I think you did your best, and your daughters hopefully understand it that way as well.
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Yes, I’ve done my best Rachna, but there is this feeling that if we had not shifted during those teenage years of my daughters, it would’ve been better for them for bonding with their friends. There is a disconnect with the new place which refuses to go.
Adaptation is always there and they are too good at it. This is just my thought. And I think that they are pretty happy too 🙂
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Oh, don’t look back and regret at that decision of yours, Uma! The upside of it all what matters really! Your daughters enjoyed what they had, I’m sure, and your did your childhood! And that is all there is to it! 🙂
Personally, a bit of this has happened with my boys too, but then, we made a decision to kind of get the kids to stay in one place after my first born got to 6th standard. We never needed to move after that, so I suppose everything does work out for the best 🙂
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Even we thought of such a decision like not to move from one place for the sake of the girls, but we decided against it. The daddy time will become relatively less and both of us didn’t want that to happen. Now to see the bond between father and daughters is one great blessing 🙂
Thank you Usha…I’ll try to look at the upside of it !
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Don’t worry about it too much…It’s all fine…We can’t have all the good things…What you have give your daughters is good , very good
Random Thoughts Naba..#MicroblogMondays: Gardens & Books Read
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Welcome here Nabanita 🙂
And thank you…its just a thought to see from the other side.
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It is the best gift you have given your daughters. I have been moving from the day I was born, all my life. I never regret even a single day of that kind of life. Staying put at one place is a disadvantage as you lose out on so many new experiences. So relax. 🙂
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Thank you for making me feel good about moving so much…I know its good. But I was just wondering if I failed to see it from the girls’ point of view.
I know the shifts have helped them to adapt and adjust to various circumstances and enjoy the new experiences too.
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But we only get to live one life and take one road (well, not really true in that they can always study with the same people for college, etc). You gave them this great opportunity to practice being flexible. To not being scared of change. Don’t discount that.
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Welcome to my space Mel 🙂
Thank you for those words. Yes, they do keep in touch with their friends from other places and its a great possibility that they could be studying college together.
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