Blind society of mothers

Muthu is my household help. A thin girl in her early twenties, but 3 daughters to take care of, not to forget her ever-under-the-influence-of-alcohol husband !!!

One day, she raised a question out of the blue – “Why do the mothers treat their sons so much above daughters, when the sons give only shit to the mothers ???”

A valid question !!! And I was more than willing to understand her point of view…so let the story roll out !!! After all, she needs to rant too.

Muthu is the eldest of 4 children, the youngest of all is a son. Her mother thinks that her son is a gift from God. The sad part is the son doesn’t think the same way. While the three girls work to make their family eat and be happy, the son still eats from his mother’s earnings. Yes, the mother is working too. But this guy has never been successful in getting any job.

Recently Muthu’s younger sister got married and her mother had many debts to clear because of the wedding expenses. Now Muthu’s mother owns two plots of land. And the daughters have suggested that she sells one plot to pay the debts, as the interest is eating her up.

But this mother refuses to do so, as the two plots are for her son. The son is neither bothered by the debts nor by the mother’s slogging !!! What a son !!!

The story repeats with her mother-in-law also. While the husband whiles away time drinking, its Muthu who goes out of her way to take care of her MIL !!! Her husband doesn’t even bother about his mother.

So, the sons are irresponsible. But the mothers love them.

The sons do not take care of their mothers. But the mothers love them.

The sons treat their mother like shit. But the mothers love them.

And reason is simple. This son is going to hold the torch, when the mother meets her final moment in life.

How unfair is this ???

The mother has failed in her duty to raise her son as a responsible human being and she holds on to him for the final torching….its absurdity at its height. But this is how our society lives on.

The mother is not bothered by the jobless son – all she wants from him is to do the final torching.

For one final torch, how much torture should the mother undergo ??? Why such upbringing double standards ??? While Muthu and her sisters have grown to be responsible individuals, what prevented their brother to be like them ???

It’s the mother’s blind love for her son and a totally blind society which thinks that a son is better than a daughter !!!

Thank you God, that you blessed me with daughters for I never want to know such discrimination among children nor the blind love reserved for sons !!!

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About UmaS

A Stay At Home Mom trying desperately to make a difference, in whatever I do !!!
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31 Responses to Blind society of mothers

  1. Bins says:

    I don’t mind torching such people. These useless people just waste their life and leave toxic waste behind too!

    Like

  2. Smita says:

    Hmmmm these practise is rampant in that strata of the society na? Sigh!!! I wonder when will we women come down from the pedestal and start taking care of ourselves instead of men around us,

    Like

  3. dhana says:

    its not just the final torch that makes these mothers so partial, there are so many factors which make them highly dependent on their son. our customs and practices give more importance to men. this mother dont understand that just a torch by a son with no love and responsibility can never bring her peace in the other world.

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    • UmaS says:

      The love for her son blinds a mother too much, to even stop thinking about her…isn’t it then the responsibility of the son to reciprocate the same to his mother ???

      And thats a big lesson by itself which the mothers need to learn – torching the pyre without any love or devotion is not going to matter at all !!!

      Like

  4. LG says:

    I am enormously grateful that what was picked off my innards was an XX, instead of the XY that was predicted by all and sundry around me.
    Your story is seen all over India – even among the educated. It is a curse.

    Like

  5. hmmm this is very prominant in our society and it happens at a lot a LOTttttttttttt of houses , although we dont like to talk about it ..

    I hope and pray to god that, god grants me wisdom and does not make me one of these people

    Like

  6. Snow says:

    I have also heard a lot about this kind of discrimination. Also, have seen a couple of people behaving differently with their daughters. It’s is sad that it is prevalent in our society. It is unfair to turn a blind eye towards a son’s mistakes assuming that he is going to be there forever and completely ignore what a daughter does for her parents out of love. Thankfully, I have also seen people treating their children equally irrespective of their gender and I have been a part of one such family. Let’s hope the society changes over a period of time and do our best to not be one of those people who discriminate. That’s the best we can do 🙂

    Like

  7. Shilpa Garg says:

    Sad, really sad! And this is the reason that their husbands just spend their time drinking while the women folk slog for hours together to make ends meet and support them as well as the family!

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      Its such a sad story Shilpa…my heart goes out to my maid !!!
      At least, I’ll give those ppl a run for their money, if they tried to treat me like that. But this woman just keeps quiet and burdens her mind and health with these problems 😦

      Like

  8. Smitha says:

    That is so sad, Uma.. And sadly happens in all strata of society. Even some of the educated are not immune. I can only wait for the day when such discrimination cones to an end..

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  9. agnes says:

    That;s too bad, really. I never really understood why…

    Like

  10. Vivek says:

    An unfortunate tradition that needs to be discarded.

    Like

  11. scorpria says:

    Such utter wastes! I wonder when we, as a society, will grow up to be able to “see” these meaningless traditions as things to do away with!

    Like

  12. shail says:

    I have seen this happening again and again. Daughters take care and yet the mother clings to the son. Sad really. What a crazy ‘son mad’ world! As if it makes a difference who holds the torch that lights the pyre to your already ‘dead’ body!

    Like

  13. Seen it a zillion times and still don’t understand it. Even if it is as Shail put it for the person who can perform your last rites or if it’s the fact that sons can carry on the family name…it still makes no sense. In my own family, my paternal grandmother favoured her sons over her daughter. And weirdly, she favoured the son that barely did anything (my uncle) over the one that did. Makes you wonder if in some way mothers of sons are just masochists!!

    Like

  14. Roshni says:

    Hi! This alcoholism amongst husbands of the household help is so common, it is just no joke! So very sad, and sad too that the women are not appreciated for all their hard work!

    Like

  15. Pingback: Weekend rant | UmaS Reflections

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