Reciprocation matters

I come home tired. My daughter makes me a fresh lime juice to cool me. While she reciprocates my love, I smile at her.  But some people think, she has done her duty well or probably learnt her lessons well.

I’ve been bound to believe from very young age, that there needs to be a reciprocating factor, for relationships to survive.

I’ll be sincerely calling someone to know how they are doing, because I care for them. But over a period of time, if I come to realize that there has been no initiative from the other person’s side to call me and show that they care, then my frequency of calling will certainly reduce.

I do agree that the other person need not feel the same way like me. And thats exactly what I am trying to tell – Reciprocation is essential for relationships to grow and survive.

There are many people around us, who are cordial acquaintances, while others are classified as friends. And then there are special friends, best friends and many more…..How does all these classifications happen ????

Its totally based on what you feel about somebody and if the same feeling is being reciprocated towards you.

The sad part is, when you are duty bound to maintain some relationships, but have no great fondness to nurture that relationship.  Those are the difficult times, when you are torn between what you believe in and what the situation demands of you.

Its very easy to say, just ignore those relationships which don’t matter to you.  But in this game of life, its extremely difficult to take such a stance !!! Or at least I find it so very difficult, in some instances.

And between partners in life, reciprocation of love is the most important factor that sustains their relationship.

So, what do you think ????  Is reciprocation of love important to you or not ????

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28 Replies to “Reciprocation matters”

  1. Reciprocation of any relationship is very essential. You have captured the very meaning of the essence of the word reciprocity. Mutuality, interdependence and give and take are the key words without which relationships are bound to fail. We sometimes take each other for granted. Hence its essential to shbow and tell our love for the other person be it ur children, spouse, parents or ur siblings or ur friends.

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  2. Definitely, definitely important. Without reciprocation the relationship is like a dead-end. Sadly though, we end up taking the most important relationships for granted and forget to reciprocate or express our love.

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  3. Yupe. True, all of it. If feelings are not reciprocated then they do tend to become smaller and smaller in importance and do even go away with time. Every relationship needs constant taking care of for it to grow and become stronger.

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  4. It is very important. When I had initially come to uk it seemed if I called back home they wud say oh we were thinking of you were about to call you but hardly got a call. I am talking of relatives etc now I dont bother as I feel they never reciprocate.

    So it is very important.
    One shud let the other know of there love and care.

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  5. It’s that oil that lubricates and keeps it running smoothly 🙂 its absence can create ruptures and creaking unless, a party involved works hard to revive it… people don’t care most of the time, like somebody above said, take it for granted.. and there comes a time when they want it badly and they can do nothing about it… its like cutting a rope into two and tying a knot to join it… there will be a bulge however smooth the other parts are and it is felt!

    Really insightful Uma 🙂

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  6. Absolutely! As a rule, I don’t normally put a stop to friendships and at first I used to feel I’ve done somthing wrong for others not to return my calls / mails. Know better now, after some time, just let go.

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  7. A seed
    snug
    in wet soil
    exchanging
    nutrients for growth;

    The tiny stalk,
    giving up a bit of its space
    for grasses
    that safely
    camouflage it;

    A lifetime of growing,
    flowering’
    bushes and bowers,
    fruits,
    and there are more
    who grab and pluck,
    and
    sometimes hurt.

    A grown up tree,
    and
    it’s a tradeoff
    between,
    mindless branch swingers,
    and
    tired souls resting
    at the base;
    sometimes
    it’s the joy
    of kids
    hiding behind
    the expansive trunk,
    while some
    spoilsport
    comes by
    to trim the branches.

    Life is always about
    you doing
    what you believe in,
    regardless,
    of the
    blind and deaf
    pluckers,
    swingers,
    trimmers;

    It’s better
    to be >
    than =
    ……………..

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  8. I agree with every word you said 😀
    When excuses come in the way of reciprocation, that’s the point where relations begin to rust and gradually wear away 😦
    A wonderful reminder post for everyone of us 😀 😀 😀

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  9. Of course reciprocation is very very important for any relationship to flourish!!!!

    But yes as u said many a times we are so bound with the duty that we start doing things because We are supposed to do it not because we want to do it!

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  10. Yes, Uma, you are right-I too feel it is very important! And similarly, over a period of(probably because I am slow to catch the early signs) I too reduce my reciprocation ! This has happened in my family, and it has been one of the most saddest things to see! Just two days back i was crying my eyes out in exasperation over one particular person’s behaviour! Sigh! To give and give and not receive is such a depleting, demeaning feeling for sure, so yes, it is always important to give and take!

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  11. I agree reciprocation is necessary but sometimes it happens that the other person is not calling and you calling him/her because you like him/her.And i am sure after sometime the person will realize what he/she is missing by not calling u.

    Before i never used to cared whether they called me or not,but now i realised and stopped calling them…..This is regard to sms also,i stopped sending sms to people who don’t respond to my sms…..

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  12. Absolutely agree, Uma. I’ve spent too much time giving people the benefit of the doubt and thinking if it was selfish to expect anything in return…but I’ve learnt I need to fair to myself too. I agree that there are some relationships that require us to give out of duty….and that’s why we often find them a drag,

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  13. True but people need to figure out what the love language is of that particular person to nuture the relationship more specifically and get better results. The only category it might not work is for those that say “It’s my way or the high-way”.

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  14. Of course it is important! And barter is the only trade that makes sense. Love, caring, nurturing and even paying the tab … one gives and takes. If people only take, it makes the giver wonder …

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  15. Agree with every written word here! I’m at times guilty of not reciprocating enough and I attribute that to my laziness! But then, people who know me, know that I care;)

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  16. Oh completely Uma. That indeed is the force that makes relationships last. We are petty humans after all and need to be loved…
    enjoyed the way you brought out such a hometruth. 😀

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  17. REciprocation is important for the new relationships, and when we want them to grow old and stronger! Ofcourse I accept!
    Ofcourse reciprocation is important, but to me it’s not necessary- all the times (atleast!)
    To me love should be unconditional..be it friends or love life…I don’t want to expect a return and do a certain thing.
    For instance, I have a few bloggers to whose posts I read regularly and comment on each and every post of theirs, no matter they comment on mine or not! A few of them would not even bother to leave a hi or thanks message in blog..that doesn’t really bother me, because I chose to read their blog and comment.
    Similarly, I have friends to whom I never call, never return their call, or never go for chat, but they do make sure to drop a hi to me regularly..
    But I do expect S to reciprocate when I cook, when I prepare nice masala tea for him 😉

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