Rant time

Yeah, I know all that happens is for a reason,

So, Why am I ???

It’s best to find happiness wherever you go,

So, Why am I ???

All that you wish cannot be happening, at the time u wish,

So, Why am I ???

And always you are uprooted from the place you love the most,

So, Why am I ???

When you have just begun to enjoy your life, everything crumbles around you,

So, Why am I sulking ???

When you really really wish for something, the whole universe conspires to give it to you, said the Alchemist. Am I right ???  But now, I see the Universe keeping quiet and watching me !!!!

Is it because that I should earn (deserve)  it also, as the Bournville ad says !!!

Then, aren’t the two contradicting each other ???

See, we, as a family, have always been on the move and we loved it. We loved going to new places and meeting new people and adapting ourselves to the new place, so comfortably. It was in us – the expectation to move and see new places.

But, I think all those expectations to shift, were chucked out of our brains, when we moved into our own home, in Hyderabad. It was a dream come true for me and of course, every one of us.  We were crazily attached to our new home, as against the law of detachment towards materialistic things – becos they are bound to make you sad. And that’s what happened, when we were suddenly on the verge of a crashing dream and we are to fall into the frying pans of Chennai – that’s exactly my thought, being a Chennaiite, myself.

People tell me, reason with me, that Happiness is a state of mind and you can always find it, if you have the right frame of mind.  But, it’s not only me. There are people around me everywhere, wherever I go. And people do matter, in everyday life and its happiness quotient.  I don’t know if its my bad luck that the people I’ve met so far seem to be running away from me, at the sight of my face or they say in clear terms do not come near me or my place. If this can’t hurt you, then what can ???

So, what does the heart do in such occasions ???? Compare to the wonderful, carefree, lovely life in Hyderabad with an amazing number of friends, and some special people who really care for me. And the yearning to go back to my Paradise increases. After all I am human, not any saint.

Its also because I cannot live alone. I cannot live all by myself. I need to talk to others too.  And here I find people, first judging me without knowing the real me.

This city makes me feel claustrophobic, when I don’t have that at all, in me.  Sometimes, it chokes me so much, that I wish to run back !!!

Now, I am reading the 3rd book of Ramayana, by Ashok Banker  – Demons of Chitrakut. And I am in the part, when Rama goes into exile.  While Rama takes it all, as part of doing his Dharma, Lakshman seems to be thinking of the lost things in life.  The irony of how a crown-prince and heir to a Kingdom, is pushed out of his own Kingdom on his coronation day, is really heart-wrenching. Even after knowing its a deceptive scheme by Manthara, he continues with his exile.

It was 11.30pm yday night, when I was reading this part and suddenly I cried. What for ??? Rama ??? Or myself ????

Am I in exile here, asks my heart !!! Looks like, says the mind.

So, learn to face the demons and spend some happy times with family, till the day my Kingdom calls back to me, is my lesson today.  But, I am telling you all, its pretty damn hard to do it…..to smile against an unsmiling society.

I couldn’t help this rant today….sorry if I bored you all, with things u already know.

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There’s one happy thing which I noticed now and want to share it with you all – I am about to reach that 50,000 visitors on my page….watch out….who is that lucky person, who reach here as a milestone visitor ???

OK, reached that milestone, with a visit from the Chattering Box !!! 🙂 🙂 Now, theres something to make me happy today. 🙂 Thank you ppl. 🙂