Let me be more human…

If someone asks me “Are you superstitious ?”, at the outset I might say a big “No”.  But deep down in my heart, are a lot of Ifs and Buts of doing things, which has been absorbed like a sponge, when I was young.

Nothing was learnt consciously, but so many things were ingrained deep into my mind, by following and doing things at a young age, as told by the elders in the house.

Lemme not confuse superstitions with basic rules of the house, regarding discipline, hygiene and good manners.  I feel that these rules are implemented for the betterment of one self, while superstitions sometimes hurts the other person, when followed.

Many a times I wonder, whats the use of following these superstitious beliefs, while all it does is confuse our mind, makes us less human and hurts the other too !!!

Here are some example :

There’s this unspoken rule in the homes of our sect that we are not supposed to give / lend anything that’s white in color after 6pm and that white color includes milk, curd and money. If we give away those things, then they’ll reduce in our home too, is the superstition. Like giving money after 6pm, will make Goddess Lakshmi to go out too.

See, this is a crucial thing for everyone. No one wants to mess with Goddess Lakshmi, right ???  So, this is followed very seriously in our sect.

The dhobhi brings in the clothes by 7pm.  Now, do I pay him or not ???  The dhobhi works hard the whole day and his earnings for the day is going to make a meal for his family. Now, if I don’t pay him, am I not being less human, in trying to strike at his meal ???  Under this situation, the superstition fades and humanitarian concern creeps in and I go ahead and pay him.

When my neighbor’s father passed away, she was running to and fro for the ceremonies and came back home late at night. Then she realized that she didn’t make curd and wanted a spoon of  curd to add to her milk.  Now, when she came to ask me for a spoon of curd under the situation she had been and I refuse to give her, what kind of human am I ???  Here again, the superstition fades and human concerns wins over.

There’s one more clause to that superstition too – don’t lend / give money on Tuesdays and Fridays – they are the days of Goddess Lakshmi and the same story goes again.

Here comes my house-help with a sick feeling on her face. Later she tells me that she is suffering from bad throat and fever. Part of me is happy that she still came to work and the other humanitarian part is feeling bad for her. So, I went and asked her whether she took any medicines or did she see a doctor. She was planning to go to the doctor after finishing work and asked me if I can lend her 100/- for the same.  That was a Friday and again the superstition started spreading its wings in my mind. But thankfully, the humanitarian part was more forceful in giving her the money to go and see a doctor.

When we walk on the road or drive in a car, one sight that we see constantly, is the beggars on the road.  I know there are many, who are trying to cheat us in that facade. But do we have time to go and investigate who is the true one and who is not ??? So, when I’ve decided to give money to any beggar who comes to me, I just go ahead and give it without thinking about anything.  It’s the thought of giving which is very important, in my opinion.

Here’s a funny superstition too – whenever someone leaves home, one is not supposed to ask them – “Where are you going ????”   Then that work will not happen.  So, sometimes the question is re-phrased like “Where will you come from???”     ha ha ha….this is totally ridiculous.  A job or the purpose of going out for work, is certainly not based on a silly question, right ???

But sometimes, when I go out and my daughter asks me this question, I do get bugged – see, this is what years of graining in the wrong thing can do. But I try to overcome that emotion and answer her in the earnest.

I really don’t know what made those people create so many superstitious beliefs in our day-to-day living.  But I certainly don’t believe in following them, when my humanitarian concern is at stake.


42 Replies to “Let me be more human…”

    1. Ha ha u r rt Ums. We do get used to a few things and this thing abt not asking where u r gng etc.. looks familiar too. We do have a simple rule. Since our parents [which includes both sets] follow certain things and so when they are arnd, we do follow them – but this is limited to not cutting nails after sometime, not cutting hairs on a certain day etc.. – the catch being that though we both don’t believe in them, we don’t want to go against just bcoz we want to rebel against the superstitions. But things which hinder our daily life/ progress, we are totally against them and our parents have accepted us that way too 😛 Not sure if u got my point 😉 😉


      1. Of course I got ur point….which is what I’ve been trying to say too. Superstitions are so much into us, that we follow them blindly. But if its going to hurt others or be a block in helping others, then I would love to leave it behind and be more human. 🙂


  1. I strongly feel that these believes have a valid reason behind them but having said that following them is totally in our hands and as you said it is the humane side which wins. Practicality scores over everything else.

    In fact in my place we grew up with the clause “no eggs on Mon & Tuesday” but when me nd bro moved out for education my mom said, see if u can follow the rule otherwise no sweat as now u r out and shud eat as things are avlbl. Yeh baat alag hai that even now (when am the one who controls what is to be cooked when)I follow the relaxed rules 😉


  2. It’s totally upto the individual whether or not to follow something….after all, it’s based on individual beliefs….

    So, when I’ve decided to give money to any beggar who comes to me, I just go ahead and give it without thinking about anything.
    Go ahead and get cheated??? This is the only part I am skeptical about….
    I give only to those are handicapped and incapable of doing actual work. Those who are physically able and capable of finding work, I do not offer any money…


    1. Ash, I was like this before…I refused to give to ppl whom I know are cheating on me. But, over the years this change has happened in me…the thought of giving, over-rides the fact to whom u give. Its the problem of the cheater to face his consciousness, when it comes to fact. In my mind and heart, I am clean and clear that I’ve done what I felt like doing.


  3. So agree with you, Ums. Had done a post on similar lines long back 🙂

    How so ever much we try to stay away from superstitious beliefs, we still get drawn towards them!


  4. Its all so familiar and am just wondering how these people were successful selling such fads that has penetrated the blood for generations!!? And got away without even a sign of proof!


  5. I only remember that I did not practise a superstition when something wrong happens and I hunt around for a reason/probable cause. Otherwise I just go on and do whatever I have to do whenever …


    1. Thats the basic reason while superstitions became so intrinsic with life….as everything that happens around us was connected to a possible superstitious belief, while in reality they are not so at all. Its better to stand outside the box and think in good sense.


  6. I am typing this whole comment again as when i wanted to publish there was a electric surge and the machine booted , oooh i am superstitious my comment said something about GODS and pandits 🙂 oooh la la la la


  7. Ok Well I wanted to know if GOddess LAxmi herself told the humans the mere mortals that they should not do anything after 6pm.
    Naah, I dont think so….

    I wonder or is it one of those long chains of stories told by some Pandit at some stage for there own benefit..
    Quite possible…

    Because logically if we look at it then as you said Dhobi came and if you dont pay him then he is not being paid for his hard work and that is also against GOD cause gods said that a man should get what they have worked hard for and moreover .. if Dhobi gets angry then he might ask his GOD’s Help and then there will be war between His God and GOddess LAxmi.. a big problem…
    What a gr8 analysis Bikram !!! U truly enlightened me on the whole situation of not paying the dhobhi. 🙂 😀

    All these stories have been going on for hundreds of years and as we know the phenomenon of loosing in translation thats what has happened its lost the real meaning from the day it started for whatever

    There is another case of not to walk when a cat crosses ur path well here in uk almost all houses have cats as pets so they do cross .. and if i do what we are told i will never be able to reach my work 😦
    Oh yeah, thats another stupid thing to follow….even in my apartment, there are many stray cats around and they keep crossing our path many a times…if I am to follow that belief, I cannot even go for a walk… 😉 😀

    Every god taught us about being good to HUMAN BEINGS.. and loving an caring for Humans.. so yeah lets be human and I am sure every god will be happy with us , PLUS i am sure we can also agree that we can never make everyone happy so some God will be angry but then Hopefully the Gods that are happy with us will take care of us 🙂

    Lets be HUMAN 🙂
    Thats the jist of life. 🙂 🙂


  8. Hugs Uma! You are a wondeful person! So many people, in your place would not care for another person, if it were against their ‘beliefs’. Things should be the way you describe – because what use is money and wealthm if we can’t help another person in need?

    And I am sure that these good things that you do will do far more good that following superstitions blindly!

    Hugs!!!!!! You know, I have a post of faith and beliefs coming up.. if I can get stuff from my head onto the post 🙂


    1. Thank u Smithu, for being so understanding of my situation. 🙂 🙂

      We have some money to help others, we have the heart to give, then why shld the heart be confused with silly beliefs ???

      Come on, waiting for ur post….write it soon. 🙂


  9. The generation before mine had this amazing rule that you must never buy oil on Saturday. We would respect this rule when the in-laws came to stay with us, but other times we were so busy we forgot wht day of the week it was.

    But an aunt who had her own Gynaec hospital , and practiced till her 80-‘s (I recently blogged about her ), once fired a patient’s father-in-law in no uncertain terms,because, he did not bring his daughter-in-law (supposed to have a complicated pregnancy) to hospital despite labor pains, because he thought the day was inauspicious for some reason. They lost the child, endangered the mother’s life, and I was there when this God fearing, elder-respecting, learned doctor fired the old man and asked him what was so auspicious now.

    So, as you rightly say, its important to be human first….


    1. Just as I read ur comment, I remember a person in our distant relation, who goes out every Sunday, ritually to buy salt. For her, salt can be bought only on Sundays…. 🙄

      OMG !!! That was a terrible thing to do !!! How they play with human lives, giving superstitions as reasons…very sad….


  10. Most of it is something i’ve heard in my family too…like the tues/friday money; not calling someone from behind when leaving fr something important; but well, basically, they’re all rubbish!

    most of the superstitions have a scientific reason behind it (the wise of those days made connected it all to God just so that ppl would follow it all out of fear…science was always shunned and laughed up on)…but for these that you’ve mentioned here, i dont even remotely remember thr being any reason/logic to them 😀

    And as for giving money to beggars: thts a strict no-no for me. Personaly, i hate doing it. I’m ready to take them to a bakery/hotel and buy them all the food they can eat (i’ve done that once and was laughed up on both by a friend and by the guy at the bakery, but i didnt really care) — but i refuse to give them money (but thts all they ever want!) since they report back to the gang leader every evening who takes all th money and gives them only more pressure for more money the next day.


    1. Exactly…those were the times when Science was shunned upon, the beliefs were greatly followed…but now, times have changed and so have the ppl. 🙂 🙂

      Regarding beggars, plz see my reply to Ashwathy. 🙂


  11. What a thought provoking post, Uma. I love the choices you make and how well you explained them. At the end of the day I think God sees our ability to reach out to another as the highest good.
    Love and hugs………


  12. Hmmm… Interesting..>We have a few of our own ‘superstitious’ beleifes. I call them.. beleifs of generations, who is to argue with that:
    First: Dont cut nails after sunset… Defiant me said.> WTH.. I started cutting my nails, only to get distracted by TV and ripping the nail off! Hmm…. Now, sometimes, the only time I do get is later in the night, I just make sure TV is off!
    Second: Dont tell anyone but family about pregnancy till 3 months. Hmm… I followed it. It was our first pregnancy and we wanted to do it right…so as soon I was one day past the 3 month mark, I screamed and speed dialed all my friends and extended family!
    Third: If you are waiting for something good… wait to tell untill it happens, else you might jinx it….. Hm… This is the hardest. I only tell my confidante’s.. limited two three… since it will help me gain sanity on day to day life…. So far.. my confidante’s have not jinxed it!
    And it goes on………I guess all ‘beliefs’ just depend on situation> i am sure there was good reasoning for a lot of them. Just over generations the answer to ‘Why’ got lost. I follow them, if no harm done to my family and others… like you said: Humanity is higher than any belief!


    1. Very true Garima…some beliefs are hard to do away with…but somewhere we can make a change in those beliefs, if its hurting others na !!!

      I too have this thing with me – never tell anyone abt my plans or expectations till things really get working for me…but no one is getting harmed here, so I am fine with it. 🙂


  13. I agree Humanity is always higher than any belief. And happy to see that you keep Humanity above the beliefs. What I feel as we are progressing in new century all these beliefs are kept aside not intentionally but because of the lifestyle we are leading 🙂


  14. I am so thankful that I hardly (hardly) superstitious. I do not believe in utter crap like ‘do not cut hair/nails on tuesday and friday’, or ‘do not leave home during rahu kalam’ or ‘cut your birthday cake during the ‘good time’ and not inauspicious time’. I agree it is difficult for us to get out of what has been ingrained, luckily my parents did not do any such stuff, so I’m relatively ‘free’ of such bondages 🙂


  15. I never believed these things earlier… But as things changed (read as I became more matured), I started believing some of them, because I don’t want anything wrong to happen!
    Same goes with horoscope matches etc..
    I do believe (unintentionally or with more practise should I say !!) some of these..like giving the money in right hand.
    And it is also said, that the money should be given not in between the doorsteps, it should be either inside or outside. I have a Polish friend who said that they do have a similar belief like this.
    But when I sit and think about these beliefs, as you say, have creeped into us many many years back. I hardly remember the date when I started practising “pillaiyar suzhi” in the notebook. Even today I do that!

    As you say, they do take back step in the above scenarios you mentioned!
    Superstitious beliefs are either religious or “if not done, might cause harm to others” kind. We are tied with following these types, because if we don’t, we fear something wrong might happen!


    1. Anu, as u said, there are many which everyone follows. But my point is to leave some if its going to harm others or stop helping others….those are the times to be more human, than superstitious. 🙂


  16. Absolutely Uma! Its important for me too to be human first. But of course there are times when i second guess myself before giving money to beggars. I’m overcoming that…
    Some beliefs… rather some practices have stuck. Which came about because of grandparents and other relatives… our parents never insisted on such things.But we do ensure that there is no harm to others due to our practices.


  17. Well, I think superstitions are kind of baseless. They are just some meaningless ways to get rid of unresolvable fears!
    Some make sense, like where I come from, if you’re leaving the house, you don’t say “I’m going..”, you say “I’ll come back”…It’s kind of obvious what that ‘means’!
    The black cat one really irritates me. I love cats, and once we had this dear little black kitty, and everyone used to tell us that we should get rid of her because black cats are a bad omen! My pet, imagine that!! I used to tell people that we don’t mind the bad luck, as long as it doesn’t scratch the bedposts!! 😀


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