Owing to this Update, I changed to a new house-hold help. She’s M – very quiet, clean and sticking to the time she told me – so far so good.
She was inquiring me about my mother, my patti and how they are coping up. When I told that my patti has lost both her sons….she was very upset and then told this.
M is just 23, but already a mother of 3 daughters….just read daughters again. After delivering 2 daughters, she decided thats it and she cant take any more. But her husband and MIL persisted, so that she can give them a son. M left the husband’s home and went to live with her mother. Her working mother, her strong support, welcomed her. M’s mother tried to put in some sense in M’s husband and MIL’s mind…but it never worked. So, M’s mother sought the advice of their Doctor, who called M’s husband and tried talking to him. The Doctor explained that M is very weak and she cannot sustain another pregnancy. And that even the Family Planning Op needs to be done soon, when M’s physical health becomes better.
The husband assured the Doctor that he’ll take care of M and took her and the girls back home. Within a month of taking her back, she became pregnant. M was furious, because she has fought every moment that this should not happen. But finally, she delivered a third girl, much to the fury of her husband and MIL. M looks like a stick to me…I didn’t know where she had the strength to undergo 3 pregnancies at such an early age.
Now, M’s argument is all the more interesting :
“My husband wants a son from me. But, he doesn’t do his duties as a son, to his Mother. He is not even considerate towards her. Its me who takes care of her, with the money I get paid. When he cannot be a good son, why does he want a son ????
And I’ve a brother too, of whom my Mother was more fond of. But now, seeing the way he is behaving so selfishly, she has come to realize that daughters like me are more better than those sons.
Now, you tell me, why everybody is after a son ????”
The Bitter Truth is that the Man wants a Son, but he wont be a good Son to his parents !!!
My friend was chatting with me on phone and the topic went towards home based work or part-time jobs. My friend is very friendly with a warm smile and very good at helping out people. But sadly, trying to do some home based business opportunity, left her quite dry, as the husband started opposing the high demand for her business, in the community of flats, where we stay. He didnt like her getting busy and meeting more people.
She tried applying for Teaching jobs (part-time) and even got selected. Since husband has night-shift, he sleeps through the day, while she can go to work and be back home for lunch. Alas, no to that also.
The Bitter Truth is that the Man doesn’t like more importance for his Wife or probably Man likes his Wife to be financially dependent on him.
Now, there are more such people, whom I meet on a regular basis, and out comes a Bitter Truth from their life. Here are some :
The Bitter Truth is that the Man can get highly emotional over simple things, shout, scream and make a hungama, but the Wife just has to remain totally un-emotional.
The Bitter Truth is that the Man can talk unwanted things in a moment of high and can apologize and make up the next morning, while the Wife talking unwanted things will not be tolerated by the Man and no apology will be accepted.
The Bitter Truth is that the Man can talk all that he wants about the Wife and her family and put them down with words, while the Wife should adjust to his side of the family, however they are and not say a word about it.
Now, there are exceptions and these are not generalizations. Each and every Bitter Truth is a reflection from someone’s life, I’ve met recently. It saddens me a lot, to know about these kind of Men around.
But I am happy to know the Wife(s), who work constantly on taking all these in good spirit and learning to enjoy life. Their smile and jovial nature, beyond the Bitter Truths in their life, makes me respect them so much. After all, the Woman is certainly more stronger, mentally. 🙂