Sex Education is not a Crime

Now, if you all don’t know about it, our CBSE system of education recommends the sex education to the children under the CBSE board, in 8th standard – around 13 years of age – at the entry into teenage.

I am all for this, actually support it – but is it enough, if they start at 13 years ???  Majority of the children, under 13 yrs of age, who are abused sexually, don’t even know what’s happening to them.

So, here I am thinking, that they should start at a much early age, when came the shocking news from many children, that these specific chapters are not been taught in school. I was like WWWHHHAAATTTT ????

Immediately I got hold of one 8th standard Science Text Book and looked for that chapter.

Yes, there is a small 2 page write-up, which is very simple enough to read and understand. But the sad part is, year after year, it’s an omitted chapter, either by the teachers or school authorities. Why ???

Now, are they trying to help the child by avoiding the teaching of that chapter ???

Or are they saving themselves from embarrassment in teaching such a topic ???

Either way, it’s not doing any good for the children.

There’s this topic called the “Determination of the Sex of the child” and it tells all about the XX and XY chromosomes.  And finally there’s an interesting question like “So, who do you think is responsible for the sex of the child – the mother or father ?”

I find this is a good thing to teach the children.  But why do they avoid teaching all this ???

Isn’t this the right way to stop those boys from growing up into senseless, ruthless men, asking their wife to give them a son, when they themselves are at fault ???

Isn’t this an important topic to teach and discuss ???

Yes, the children are shy to talk about it – every where they go, they are faced with a conservative crowd, which says its wrong for girls to talk to boys.  So, how to remove this inhibition from the child’s mind ???

Everywhere, the child goes, there is a mental block –

1. Talking to the other gender is a big NO NO.

2. The school doesn’t want to teach the Sex Education chapter.

3. The parents are not helping either.

So, where does the child go to understand stuff ???  Finally, they might end up learning things totally wrong.

I feel that the parents too play an important role in educating their child about this.

Start at an early age and start talking to them about the bees and the birds and how they reproduce. Allow them to watch those Discovery / Animal Planet shows,  in which they talk about animal mating behavior. There’s nothing wrong in knowing, it’s the way, the world survives.

Give them books to read. Answer honestly on the questions raised by them. Dont ever hide anything. That is the only way, the children will start trusting the parents.

There were some boys, who underlined the word “SEX” in that Science text-book, and kept laughing among themselves.  If not taught properly, they’ll start laughing even when they see forms with “SEX – Male / Female” !!!   Isn’t it embarrassing ????

Teenage is a crucial age for both boys and girls.  When bodily and mental changes take place, the support of the parents and the teachers is very much required.  Till the time they get comfortable with their own body and feelings, we need to give them good support. We need to educate on the right things. And doing things right.

Actually, educating the children at a much earlier age, will help prevent a lot of problems.

– A child who knows about the good and bad touch, will know it when they see it happening. And the child will be comfortable in telling the parent / teacher, who has taught the child about it. So, there is more awareness on this.

– The child will not feel embarrassed to ask their parents, when there is honesty in teaching them about it.

– Mutual communication between the parents and the children will improve and teenage won’t be a difficult phase to manage.

– The boy-girl friendship will be on healthier terms and silly teasing will stop.

Hence, I sincerely put forth my request to the CBSE Board in India, to make sure that all schools under this Board teach this chapter on Sex Education. It’s not enough if the chapter is present in the book, it needs to be taught properly and in the right way.

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This post is being cross posted, as part of the CSA Month initiative !!! You too can be a part of it…..Just visit the blog to know more…



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52 Replies to “Sex Education is not a Crime”

    1. I agree ! Cause if they don’t teach students now they’ll any way take the education but from the wrong channels [Internet etc]…which is harmful !

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      1. Caught the top position again !!! FIRST !!! 🙂

        Exactly…why dont they understand that its better to teach it right than allowing them to learn it all wrong ????

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    1. LOL !!! Everybody cannot be like you, Vimmuuu !!!! 🙂

      Seriously, with so much child sex abuse on the rise, its high time things are taught properly to the children.

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  1. Way back in the 70s, this topic was introduced in the 8th standard (state syllabus of Kerala) But then too teachers omitted to teach the chapter in class and just told the kids to read it at home!!!! Well, can’t blame the teachers considering the way parents behave when faced with questions.
    I have insisted on my children knowing about things the proper way at an early age. While we were on the subject, a friend of mine, a teacher and wife of an army officer said “Oh my son will learn somehow or other!”
    As for the XX and XY matter, in our country where women are made to suffer untold misery for not giving birth to a male child, I am amazed the government has done nothing to popularize the fact about XY and who exactly passes on the chromosome for a male child. Why is that awareness being neglected?? Recently I was talking of it to a young person and he was like, “Uh-ho! That’s true!” Those who know of it don’t remember. So just imagine there are countless others who are just not aware and go on blaming the woman! Of course I won’t say its anyone’s “fault” BUT it is certainly the man who has to shoulder the responsibility for the sex of the child and in noway should a woman be blamed. This is something that SHOULD be taught.
    Though Vimuu above was kidding, that is just what most of the people say: We did very well without sex education” But if you look around and deeper at the population as a whole, one really wonders, if they have really done well without sex education??!!!

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    1. Agree totally with you – isn’t the matter of XX and XY chromosomes the reason for a many women getting abused or the men re-marrying without the wife’s permission ??? Why can’t they think that by educating the children on this crucial matter, they might change the younger generation’s thinking totally ???

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  2. Completely agreed…. it s a topic which is left for “figure it out” … and well.. sadly kids/ teens figure it out in a bad way more often than not.
    I think it was 8th or 9th grade when I got sex education in school, learned about that time of the month, of how kids are born, and other details in a very scientific way. In a good and fresh way. It made me more aware, made me understand about why the boys would be boys concept. It made me respect myself more and stand up for myself.
    It made me more confident…. it made me appreciate the changes in my body.
    I think its a must… parents should take the initiative if not school. I know my mom was redfaced at the topic…. I always tease her now. But its a must!

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    1. Fantastic…am glad you got it right in your school. And I totally agree with you – about the awareness of the body, the acceptance of the changes and especially the confidence.

      Thank you for this comment here, it might change somebody’s thinking on this topic. 🙂

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  3. yes very true it is a must to educate the kids .. actually if we look at old old history hundreds of years ago .. the children in those times were actually taught and they knew what it means etc etc

    I think in our growing up we forgot all this … here in uk its common practise to have a separate sex education Class for kids that age…

    parents too need to take responsibility and it is actual that 80% of knowledge is picked up up when we are kids so high time they are taught …
    nice one

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  4. Agree in totality! The society & people in India is one barrier to introducing such system in schools. They have made this topic “an untouchable” one! The children when watch a whisper or condom ad, or even a romantic scene, the parents immediately turn to child,either shout, or change the channel, or ask them to go and study. This makes the child more curious to know what is “THAT” very thing our parents, and society is hiding from us! when they try to learn it by themselves, things go wrong! And teachers are happily omitting these chapters, and do not want students to ask any doubts on this! How true that students laugh, giggle, and pass comment when something like this is taught at class. Today, for this Gen Y children, it is definitely important to get educated all about S** . Well, you know, it’s not in our culture to utter this word in public or talk about it!!

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    1. Absolutely right Anu…when such scenes comes in the TV, the parents should use those opportunities to educate the children – actually use those ads as a stimulator to the conversation.

      When they change channels so hurriedly, then the children become curious and curiosity killed the cat…they go and learn it all from other sources, sometimes the wrong ones.

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  5. 😀 Was reminded of that joke :

    During an interview in punjab, the employment form had the name, age, sex details to be filled. One candidate under SEX wrote – Twice a day!!! Ha ha ha!!!! 😀

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  6. Talking about sex is a taboo in our society..talking to someone of the opposite sex is a sin..such is the mindset of people..i remember when we were taught the chapter in science about various body parts, a female’s menstrual cycle and such things, they separated guys and girls..a lady teacher taught us and male to the boys..after the lecture, the girls were embarrassed and the boys were laughing at them..oh it was one embarrassing situation..but it was so as we made it so right?

    I feel, parents should take up the responsibility to feed the child with basic information as soon as the child is of that understanding age..they must teach the child that these things are normal and natural..there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about them nor laugh at people for such things..

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    1. Even though its embarrassing to teach the boys and the girls separately, atleast someone made an effort to teach, right ??

      I agree totally on the parents shouldering this responsibility. 🙂

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  7. XX and XY is not even sex ed..it is science.. Why would they not teach that?? This makes me thankful for my school. They even went and taught us male and female reproductive system..as uncomfortable as it made every single person in the class we were taught.

    Again not sex ed..which was not even mentioned..and how I wish it was. But at least we know basic science about human bodies. I guess I should be thankful for that.

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    1. Yes, its basically science, but they won’t teach only the reproductive system in our body…shame on such systems.

      I am happy that few of you here have been taught this in school level. 🙂

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  8. Very valid request Uma! It makes sense to ensure kids are taught about these things in the school format as it will be treated as a part of learning and growing up! Teachers must come up with a way to teach the lesson ! Here kids are taught in primary school, around the age of 10 yrs, about bodily changes that occur at this age, as this is when puberty sets in nowadays! Also about reproduction, and safe sex etc. Times have changed and kids need to be told, and Ii hope the CBSE board will help our kids in this! Kudos to you Uma!

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    1. Thats what I am seeing Indy…every school outside India seems to have it in their curriculam and teach the kids too…we need to work better on this.

      Thanks dear. 🙂

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  9. Uma u won’t believe my hubby doesn’t know XX and XY determines the sex of the child,after my 2nd child i told him and he told me that till now he was thinking it is because there are all girls in my house he too got 2 girls.

    In canada sex education classes are taken separately for girls and boys so there is no embarrassment for kid/teacher

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    1. Oh, is that so ??? See, thats what sex education is doing in India.
      It should be taught with high priority, in the right way…I hope there are considerable changes in this thinking. 🙂

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  10. I think there’s a lot of adults who need sex ed in the first place…including most teachers, about talking in a matter of fact and open way about our bodies, their processes and functions. I wish there was proper training for the teachers. My mom does sex ed talks in schools and colleges and the students are desperate and keen to learn about the topic, since their parents and teachers hush it up.

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    1. Absolutely, I too agree on that. Ppl are not comfortable with their own body and its growth, which is natural. And so true that the teachers need to be trained on teaching this topic.

      Kudos to your Mom !!! I wish there are many more women like her, out there. 🙂

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  11. Its really necessary for sure.. but for a society which was conservative for quite a long time, its tough to change suddenly… Changes are happening.. sex education in text book is good thing, I never had that.. maybe the teachers feeling a bit embarrassed to teach for a GROUP of students.. I will change in very few years 🙂

    And why blame men for everything??? As if women has no preferences 🙄 🙄

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    1. But looking at the number of child sex abuses happening around us, its time to change Kanagu…not sit behind the conservative screen.

      Exactly my point too.. if the teachers are feeling shy to teach, then the parents need to gear up to teach them. If both of them fail to do this, then who will teach the kids the right way ??

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  12. Sheesh! 😐 People need to grow up….ASAP!!! Jeez!!

    The more one tries to hide or suppress an issue, the more curious people will be to unearth it. Its human tendency !! Wish people would understand it and treat the subject with the maturity it deserves!!

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    1. You are right Ash…its the curiosity that leads to learning all the stuff…to make the kids understand things the right way, we need to educate them quite early.

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  13. Ayyoo… this avoinding the chapter has been happening for ages now Ums!
    Even when we were in school, it used to be skipped… except we had a great teacher who covered the class really well.
    You are right though – the chapter and other details should be taught from an early age….

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    1. Is it so ??? I never knew…I didn’t have that chapter at all… 😉

      The teachers make all the difference…I wish they take an initiative to teach this chapter. 🙂

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  14. Am glad that our school hd even got a gyaen to address all our queries and we were encouraged to ask qs. Infact, our science teacher had even told us to tell our MIL her son ws responsible for the sex of the baby if she ever posed a qs 😉 😉
    SigH! Y do ppl hesitate? Isn’t the reproductive system just like a digestive/ respiratory/ excretory system? It’s a part of our body after all!!!!!!!!!!!

    When my Mom was explaining to me about periods and eggs and all that, I ws quite young alrite and ws closing my ears actually 😛 nw I realize it ws so nice of her to tell us abt it!!!!!

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    1. WOW !!! Thats fab Swaru…and I love your science teacher. 🙂

      Exactly…thats what we think, but the teachers think that reproductive systems are a shame to our body, to avoid explaining abt them…

      Good thing your Mom did…My mom didnt tell me about all these things, I learnt it on my own. Thats why I made sure that I educated my daughters on all this, the right way. 🙂

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  15. i was brought up sans any of ths info..and i knw th n number of stupid situatns i have fallen into! im all for it… bt there is one point n ths tht cnfuses me.. pardon me or lemme blame it n my educatn ;P th father of the kid is responsible for the gender???

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    1. Welcome here Verbivore. 🙂

      So many of us were not taught during our childhood days and I really wish that the scenario changes for the better.

      No harm in knowing abt it now…yes of course, the father is responsible for the gender of the child. 🙂

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  16. Completely agree with your post Uma.. Sex education should be compulsory in all boards! It is really ridiculous that teachers/ schools omit these chapters because the are embarrassed to talk about it. The worst part is politicians claiming teaching children about this stuff will spoil them, and make it worse!!

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  17. Agree. I once attended a debate competitions on ‘No Sex Education Please, We Are Indians’. The girl who won was a rape victim who spoke how it might have been averted had she been made aware of the ‘good touch bad touch’ early in life.

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  18. That’s a very pertinent point, Uma. There is no point to these tentative steps if they are ignored altogether by the teachers and administrators.

    On a tangent, also agree with Shail on the need for greater and more vehement awareness of exactly which partner’s contribution decides the gender of the baby.

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    1. Glad u found this post related to CSA.

      Of course, it surely is a matter which needs to be spread more among the masses – who decides the gender of a baby !!!!

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  19. I went to a school where the human anatomy related chapters were skipped (and asked to be read at home). Most of my friends seemed to have similar experiences or were taught about human anatomy in separate groups – for boys & girls. At some level we are made to feel ashamed of our bodies which I don’t quite understand why!?

    People often quote that we have to value our culture as “Indians”. Is that argument really relevant in this age? How can parents/society be willing to accept sexual abuse and look away as if it is not their problem. Even worse, even if it happened to their “family member” they sush them. Doesn’t it kill the confidence? What is the use of breeding kids who are ashamed of themselves, have no self-confidence and all that?

    I feel the more suppression there is, the more freakish men turn out to be – they either turn out to be perverts or weirdos who can’t be around women (I speak about men, because personally I haven’t come across women till date). They don’t know how to respect women (except their mothers), think that women are born to be second-fiddle’s, don’t know the importance of physical intimacy to the extent that they think it is wrong etc etc. I really don’t understand why kids are expected to keep away from the opposite gender – doesn’t it lead to more confusion? How does it promote a real healthy camaraderie?

    I strongly feel that anyone who enters into physical intimacy without the right feelings is a molester – even if it is a spouse. I don’t know why people feel its “GREAT” to not indulge in physical intimacy with their partners and yet have pervertish thoughts about it all? Really at times, I feel there is so much cultural screw-up.

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    1. U just got it right, Swetha. We dont teach things the right way, neither at home nor at school. How can we expect ppl to behave, after learning all things the wrong way or having learnt to be ashamed of one’s own sexuality.

      Cultures are meant to evolve according to the changing times, not to screw-up lives with the way old rules and constraints.

      Like

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