Appa, I learnt to be ME, from YOU.

That day, standing at the entrance of the bank, I was shit scared.  I had a cheque in my name, my first salary cheque at the age of 18. So long, only my Dad had a Savings Account, in our whole family and I’ve never bothered to accompany him, during his weekly visits to the bank.

He told me clearly, to get the account opening form, fill it up and give the salary cheque to be deposited.  God knew how I did it that day, but I am thankful that I did it alone, proving my independence to Dad.  So silly of me….He wanted me to be independent.  Now I can proudly say that I am the Banker at home and I am better at it than my husband. 😉

Actually there were times, when I didn’t know which was the Cheque number to fill in the challan, as there is always another number along with – the ID number of the bank.  I’ve asked for help from strangers.  My Dad made sure that I need to ask, to get help.  Nobody will understand the silent queen.  It would’ve taken so much of patience to hold himself, from filling the form for me. But he made me learn that day, for which I am tremendously grateful today.

When I see my daughters struggling with filling forms, writing letters, I just think of my Dad, and force myself to be patient and allow the girls to learn things on their own. It helps in the long run, as it has helped me.

When I decided the career of my choice, he quietly came along with me, to get me admitted in the college I wished for. No questions were asked, I am glad he trusted my judgement.

He didn’t ask me for accounts on my money, when I was earning. No questions were asked, he trusted me for spending them well.  What spending, I saved a lot too.

All through my years of financial independence, he had only one small request, just get something for thatha (my dad’s dad) from your hard-earned money – he’ll be thrilled to get it from you.  Even then, he asked something for his dad, but never anything for himself. Such a simple soul he is.

One fine day, when I felt the need for a change, I resigned from my job abruptly and came home for lunch.  Dad was at home because he had an evening shift.  On hearing the news about my resignation, my thatha and patti were raining questions on me – Why ?? What happened ?? Did someone bother you ????

But my Dad, totally supported my need for a change and said he was quite happy to see me at home. Stay at home how much ever you want, but keep thinking on what you need to do, was all that he told me.  Soon, I joined a course and got a much better job.  But, from the bottom of my heart, thanks to the wonderful father, who understood me and accepted me without any questions.

He has never tried to change my basic personality…not only mine, anyone for that matter. He accepted people as they were, never asking them to change to benefit him.

He didn’t know which class I was in, when asked suddenly. But still he maintains relationships with my school, even today, of which I am proud of. Actually, he is so proud to be the Parent of ex-students of the school – the senior teachers still remember me and my sister.

Appa, “You’ve taught me the freedom to live life by my own terms and I am struggling to do that for my daughters, which you so easily did for me. The protective nature sometimes makes it difficult for me. How did you manage to teach us the world’s simplest, yet best lesson, so easily ????”

“Your enthusiasm to learn the internet from my younger one, brings a smile to my face. She was proud to have created an email account for you. And I am happy to be following you, even in Google Buzz.”

I thank God, for passing me those genes from my Dad, which helps me in handling tough situations. It also includes the capability to be strong during rough patches in life, when faced with a difficult situation – laugh and enjoy music as though the world is having a party, the love for the wonderful voice of Md.Rafi, and of course, the ability to fall asleep the moment the head hit the pillow.

Do you know, appa, that apart from parting with your good qualities through the genes, you have made me to stand strong for the principles close to my heart – even if they are wrong for others, never bow down to people just because they have more money or power, be happy to eat only curd rice also – with a happy family, and the most important thing – bad times don’t stay forever – good times are just around the corner.

Happy Father’s day, appa, I am glad to be your daughter. Today, I pray to God, for a healthy and peaceful life for you. Sit along and enjoy life, watch your grand-daughters grow and keep guiding me as always.

Thank you Blogadda, yet again, for reminding me to do this long-pending post.

I would love to gift him the Custom Magic Mug and a matching T-Shirt from Pringoo, on this day to remember. 🙂


55 Replies to “Appa, I learnt to be ME, from YOU.”

    1. Aww thatz so touching 🙂 Dads r the best and the coolest 😉

      God! I wud hv started just like u if I hd to write the bank incident 😛 Same on this side too 😉


      1. Really, Swaru, similar bank incident…but what a way to learn…how he kept quiet till I learnt it on my own….Its difficult for me to do that today…as a mother.

        So, when is your post coming ????


  1. 😀 😀 …. Lovely post Uma… One of my colleagues became father last year and I could see a real transformation in him. Every moment of his life is connected to his daughter. If she is sick, he has a worried look. If she did some mischief, he is sure to tell us about it and laugh away heartily. I mean every movement of her means a lot to him. Fathers never show their emotions but they are so much connected to their kids 😀 😀


    1. Oh yeah, fatherhood is not over expressive like the motherhood, but still they are silent contributors to the personality of a child. And these days the fathers express themselves so well. With my father, there was never a possibility to hug me or kiss me – the elders didn’t allow such expression of love. But still the bonding remained strong. 🙂


  2. what a beautiful tribute! I sit here stunned, thinking about my own father who passed away last year. And no matter how hard I try, the ache just doesnt go away.
    This is one of the best tributes I`ve read. Your Dad will be very proud and happy to read this 🙂


    1. Welcome Piper !!! 🙂 And Thank you so much. 🙂

      Yes, I hope that my Appa will read it and he’ll surely feel happy. 🙂

      And so sorry about your loss…cannot be replaced.


    1. Ok, I’ll make for you sabudana vada, chocolate cake and what else ???? I am a good host, so drop in, but make sure you both come.

      Why this drama ??? Did u cry ???? 🙄


  3. Touching 🙂
    Thank you, Ash. 🙂
    Reminded me of my relationship with my grandfather. He was all this and more for me. I hope someday I can be half as a good a guide to my children as he was to me…

    My grandfather is no longer around to see my or my children one day when I have them. Thats not the case with ur dad…treasure every moment with him …
    Absolutely, you’ll be a wonderful guide to your (future)children…Its this thought inside you, that’ll make u strive to be better at whatever you do, to equal your grandfather’s guidance to you. We all imitate our favourite and loved person, unconsciously too…


  4. Such a cute cute post for an awesome dad. You know am surprised that he taught you “Nobody will understand the silent queen”. All the men in my life, be it the husband, son or brothers never ever believes in asking for directions 😯 and i tell you it’s such a pain when I have to march down the men’s clothing aisle and ask a salesperson for something that makes him blush 😳

    The way your dad supported all your decisions without questioning proves that he believed firmly in the way he had raised his daughter 🙂

    All the bestu for Blogadda


    1. So true, Saksh, even I am married to one…he refuses to ask for anything and directions tooo. I can relate to that marching down the men’s clothing aisle…what all we do for the men we love…

      Thanks, all those trust added more responsibilities in my mind, to justify the trust he had in me. 🙂


    1. Thank u Shail and thank u for sharing this post with your friends…esp I like your comment for sharing…thank u again. 🙂 You made my today. 🙂


  5. I agree with Shail, above and I also want to share the treat you give to Vimmuuu for the same reason…
    Lovely post Uma.

    “Nobody will understand the silent queen” is an amazing lesson in a world where girls are taught to be silent. I think the best gift he gave you is he trusted you to make the right choices and decisions. My best wishes for the contest.


    1. Oh, yes, please, you are welcome to any treat, at my home. 🙂

      Yes, that trust made all the difference to me – maybe, I made mistakes…but when I think of the trust he had in me, I’ll correct myself first.

      Isn’t ??? The girls are taught to be silent and Thank God, my Dad taught me right. 🙂

      And Thank you, IHM, for your wishes. 🙂


  6. That was beautiful, Uma! Such an heartfelt letter. I feel the same about my dad. He taught me independence, to think for myself and be confident, at the end of the day.
    Here’s wishing your dad a wonderful Father’s day!


  7. Sorry to post a comment so late. But there was a problem with the network for some time.
    A touching tribute to your dad! Wonder what was the expression on his face when he read this?


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