My MOM, my STRENGTH

She is only 3 months old.  She didn’t even get the nutritional breast feed, because her mother was ill, after bringing her out into this world.  She cried and cried and longed to be held in her mother’s arms as cradle. But, there was no one to understand why she cried.

And finally, her mother left her, knowing pretty well that she’ll make a strong lady.

Her father got in a new mother for her and she was amazingly sweet and kind to her.  She filled in the dark black hole, which was made by her own mother’s death.

Then, she came to know that she had an elder brother, who was amazingly warm-hearted and so kind to her.   She learnt to be strong, kind and gentle, just like her brother.  One best thing was, even when this little girl became the step-sister to little brothers, she was happy with all the pampering she got from her mother and father.  She understood that when God closed a door to her, he opened many doors for her.

It was an orthodox Brahmin family and her grandmother was a strict follower of all the customs and superstitions.  And she made sure that everyone in the house followed them with just a glance from her.  But, this little girl was her darling.  Maybe deep inside her heart, she understood the sadness of the little girl – the sadness on not knowing about her true mother.

So, grandmother used to tell her all the stories about her mother, while she braids her hair patiently every morning and evening.  Even though, grandmother never touches anyone after her morning bath, she’ll come running to braid the little girl’s hair, before she is off to school.  Of course, she’ll use a gunny cloth to cover the girl’s back, so that she doesn’t touch her by mistake.  Grandmother smiles to herself, for not able to break the superstition, with which she has been brought up.

Then there was this aunt of hers, who came back home to her brother, when she learnt that her husband has left her for someone else.  This aunt taught this little girl to be strong in the race against life.

And as grows the tale, she married a handsome man.

She never learnt cooking at home, what with a grandmother, mother and an aunt to pamper her.  But she was too skilled in cooking, maybe it was her grandmother’s genes in her.  Even the simple rasam or a chutney made out of hurry, tasted the best.

When her husband wanted to buy a house for the family, which has grown to accommodate 2 daughters and a son, she willingly agreed to help.  With just a PUC, of those days, in her credit, she started working as a billing clerk, earning to take care of the family, while her husband’s earnings went towards the EMI of their new house.

She missed being with her children and sometimes wondered if she has taken the right decision to start working.  But, the wonderful home, they’ve built was far more satisfying and she was happy about some invested property for her children.

She, being a cleanliness freak, taught her children to follow it strictly – for she always believes that Cleanliness is Godliness.

The way, she has found her grandmother’s cooking genes, inside her, she has passed it on to her children, without her knowledge.

The way she saved every penny, to buy a saree for herself, or a grand pattu pavadai for her daughter – she made sure that the children understand the importance of money and save well for themselves.

The love with which she took care of her children, her husband, in-laws – she made sure that her children understand that there is no big thing in this world, other than love.

She taught them discipline, moral values, confidence in one’s own self, understanding the weaknesses, upgrading the strengths and to live life to the fullest.

Even she is old now, what with becoming a grandmother and all.  But she is strong deep inside, to keep things going for everyone at home.

I am crying now, as I write this, SHE IS MY MOTHER.

She has been and still continues to be a great source of strength for me and if I keep going through tough times, it’s because she made me realise that there are always better times ahead.

The most important lesson that she has taught me is the Attached Detachment towards anyone or anything in life.  It helps me to prepare myself, when I know that my girls will open their wings and fly towards their life, the same way, it prepared her when me and my siblings left her nest to make one of our own.


Dear Ma, I am glad that you are there for me, still.  Even though I am all grown up, I would like to remain a child for you.

I would love to gift her the Custom Tone Mug, which bears the line – You are the BEST MOM in the world.  Its so apt for you, Ma.

This is my entry into the Blogadda’s Tribute to your Mom Contest, which is ON till May 11th, 2010.

81 Replies to “My MOM, my STRENGTH”

  1. First!!!!

    Ums,your wonderful mother is truly a woman beyond compare! Her life story is amazing, and I am sure that you too must have followed in her great footsteps to turn into a daughter that she must be so proud of Ums! Thank you for sharing this, and wish you luck in the contest! :)))

    Like

    1. Yes, I try very hard to follow in her footsteps. But sometimes, it comes naturally to me. Am glad for that anyway.

      Thank u so much for the wishes. The idea is to write abt my mom, thats it. 🙂

      Like

  2. What a touching and brilliant post. My respects to your mother. Would so love to meet her one day !

    And a whole lot of best wishes for the contest……

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  3. Now I know how you are so strong and skilled 🙂
    I deeply respect ur mom after reading all this.she is indeed source of inspiration for others..

    all the best for contest

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  4. That was lovely Uma…….we tend to take our mothers for granted in the early years[atleast 1 did], its only after we have our own children do we understand the extent of their love & sacrifice for us & secretly wish we are as half as good as our moms were[atleast I do;-P]

    Wishing u all the best for the contest!!!!!

    Like

    1. Thank you Nancy. 🙂

      Yes, we need to understand the what our mothers go thru to be really good mothers now. Its a great challenge to every young mom and I wish them all the best to be better mothers. 🙂

      Like

  5. That was such a beautiful tribute to your mom, Uma! It was wonderful to read about her. She must have taught you so much, Uma.

    Attached detachment – that is something my parents tell me too and I think it makes a lot of sense..

    Lovely lovely piece, Uma. Your mom must be so proud of you 🙂

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    1. Yes, but all the lessons she taught me, I’ve realised them all much later in life !!!

      The Attachment is during the initial stages of parenting, when the child needs you !!! The Detachment should come, when the child wants to open his wings and fly !!! As parents, we shld be prepared for this. 🙂

      Thanks Smitha, for the loving wishes !!! 🙂

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  6. Uma i am crying,i didnt call my mom today,going now to call her.

    All mom’s are wonderful as someone said “God can’t be every where so he created mothers”

    Very touching post uma.My mom too struggled and still struggling all alone as her daughters got wings and left her nest.

    Hugs to all the mom’s and hugs to you for writing this.

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    1. OK !! Now, did u call her ??? Feeling better, na ??? Thats what moms are all about. Just talk to them for sometime – random stuff like sun, moon, cooking, actually anything, the day will be better !!! 🙂

      I understand that perfectly Sari – when we all left to fly with our new found lives, my Mom would have felt the same way !!! But mothers are made of strong stuff, Sari. 🙂

      Thanks Sari and hugs to you too. 🙂

      Like

  7. Love for mothers is like a universal language right.. applies to all unconditionally.
    I’m inspired by your mom’s life Uma. What a woman. You must be so proud of her. Good Luck for the contest! 🙂

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  8. Aww thatz so so beautiful Ums 🙂 Hw I wish I can meet her sometime. Convey my best wishes to her for Mother’s day. Happy Mother’s Day to u too 🙂

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  9. Isn’t it amazing how much of our mothers we have in each of us, even though we would have been terrified of that thought when we were young 🙂
    There is a saying in our part of the world that when you search for a girl for a boy in your family look at the girls’ mother at first, ‘coz that is hoe she’ll turn out to be later in life. And surpisingly it is true in most cases!

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  10. How much of our mothers we have in us – some they teach, some we just get in our genes!
    ‘Attached Detachment towards anyone or anything in life’ – I feel that one lesson can ensure life long peace of mind Uma!
    Why do we cry when we speak of our mothers? … and now you made everybody here cry! Hugs Uma.

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    1. Thanks IHM !!! Am glad that I’ve learnt a lesson well from my Mom !!! 🙂

      The emotional attachment to mothers is what that makes us cry, every time we think of them and I am glad that everyone is. 🙂

      Hugs to you too !!! 🙂

      Like

  11. Wow… straight from the heart… am too choked for words!

    You are already a winner, the contest makes little sense in front of this. all the best never the less 🙂

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  12. Ummu, trust me when I read this I could feel your words and had tears in my eyes. I thought to myself ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’. Your goodness and warmth is all because of auntie. Respect!

    I don’t care about the contest. You are a winner.

    Happy Mother’s Day!

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  13. hm.. iguess this is what is facinating about mothers… Moms are source of strength, care, love and affection for each one of us.. a very well written post, i love it.. in some ways i can find some similarity between your mom and my ma

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  14. Ho my god, until i read the end of the blog i didnt realise that it was perima, i am totally touched and had tears in my eyes reading it.
    Good luck for the contest!!

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  15. Hi Uma,
    From the depth of your heart, the words have poured out and as you yourself mentioned, what more do you need, when you have followed your heart? the strengh of your amma is in essence the strength of ‘Bharatiya naari’. That is what is the anchor of the family and the entire community. I bow in front of that.

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    1. Thanks so much. Yes, this post happened at the spur of a moment and its the best for me. When the heart wants it so much, it happens for the best. 🙂

      Am glad to know that you are reading the posts here. 🙂

      Like

  16. No words left to write Uma. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) Mothers are really special. Its so hard to capture all that they are to us na?
    Your mom is such an inspiration. What a lady.

    Like mother, like daughter is a phrase I am coming to love more and more these days.
    So it is with you too.:)

    Attached detachment. What an apt way to describe it and what an important life lesson. One that all of us would be better off learning.

    Lots of love to Aunty.

    Like

    1. Dear Indyeah, Thanks so much….Will surely pass on those thots of yours to my Mom. 🙂

      Thats the lesson I try to practise every day of my life…its difficult, though its not impossible – will help us to be happy in life. 🙂

      Like

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