Yday I came to know about something which I felt was quite absurd. I met a few parents, who have their sons / daughters doing engineering in some colleges in Chennai. And the details they told, just shocked me.
– The college enforces dress code for the students – boys need to wear formal trousers and full-sleeved shirt – girls can wear salwar kameez or sari.
– This certain college has college buses plying from all over the city to their campus in the outskirts. The students are banned from opting to any other mode of transport (government-run buses / trains / autos) to commute to their college.
– The worst thing which I heard is, the boys and girls are banned from talking to each other, smiling at each other, helping each other for study related problems. This ban is even effective in the college buses.
– I also heard that the parents of these children are very happy about this enforced ban on basic rights (to wear what you are comfortable with / to talk to ppl with whom you are comfortable with), because they feel that their children will be more focussed on studies and their distractions are nil.
– I heard one boy complain that his college is a prison.
Isn’t this the most absurd and sad thing you’ve ever heard of ????
Yes, I knew that the dress code implementation was going on in many colleges and institutions in India. But can an enforced dress code change the attitude of the children ????? Will the enforced dress code stop eve teasing ????? No, I don’t think so.
I love wearing jeans and I feel its one of the most comfortable dresses in this world. Just imagine a girl or a boy, in their late teens being asked to forego wearing this wonderful jeans !!!! It’s ridiculous !!!
The discipline which the college and the parents want in their wards, cannot be obtained by enforcing such dress codes, but by proper upbringing and explaining of moral values and codes from a very young age.
It’s the responsibility of every parent, who has taken the time to create another human being. Parents, please take time out of your busy schedule, to spend time with your children to insist the good ways of dressing, living, helping and sharing. If you have not done all these at home or if you are not practising what all you teach, its highly difficult for your children to follow suit.
The college goes on to explain that all these bans and enforcements are to prevent eve teasing and ragging. How much more absurd can it get ?????
All through their life, the children are prohibited and banned from doing this and that. I am not telling that the world is a goody goody place. It is not. There are dangers lurking around every nook and corner. But these kind of enforced protections will only make them meek cats. Isn’t it the responsibility of the parent to teach their children on how to take the world confidently ????
I’ve heard many a tales, when the young engineer, fresh out of college, in his first job, is struggling to work in a cohesive manner with his lady colleagues. He is shy to talk to them because he has never spoken to a lady who is also an engineer – the college helped in this and the parents totally supported it. Now, he is in a mental block to talk with the opposite sex, all thanks to his parents and college.
How do they expect him to get married and be comfortable, while all through his young age, they’ve made sure that the opposite sex is bad. This situation is similar to girls too.
All that is required is a good and healthy relationship between the parents and the children. The more rules get enforced by the parents on their children, the more they get locked into a shell.
Teach the children their basics properly
– let the discipline begin from home
– teach the kids to dress appropriately
– let the parents take an active interest in the child’s psychological development
– let healthier relationships between boys and girls grow
– also teach the children to distinguish the bad from the good
– take time to know what are the ambitions and dreams of your children and teach them to fly towards their dreams and ambitions
– don’t ever enforce your ambitions on them
– most importantly teach them to draw the line of decency in maintaining any relationship
– see the children grow and bloom into confident young adults, who are not ashamed of their gender or their body.
First, as parents, let us make the initiative to make better human beings. Then the dress codes will not matter anymore. The ban on talking to the opposite sex can be removed. Children can be made to have healthy relationships with their friends – both boys and girls.