Women against Women.

For the Indusladies International Women’s Day Blog Contest, I’ve taken up the topic of RELATIONSHIPS.

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I am saddened at the kind of things that happen around me.

Whenever I hear about physical abuse and harassment of women in cases related to dowry, it is a woman who is behind all that abuse. It’s the mother-in-law who curses the daughter-in-law for unhappiness and torture.

I see all those small little girls working as baby-sitters in my apartment, instead of going to school. They are sent to work, by their own  mothers.  There was this maid of mine, who gave birth to eight girls. Because she was struggling so much financially, I asked her why did you go in for eight kids, you should have done your family planning much earlier !!!  Her reply stuns me even today.  She wanted a son and in the process, she got eight girls.  Being short on finances, she made all her girls go for jobs at a very early age. 

And then there are those mothers, who even try to avoid a pregnancy, once they know it is a girl.

There are many women around me, who discriminate other women just because they are menstruating.

While the mother-in-law accepts the fact that her college going daughter need not know cooking, but her daughter-in-law, who is still studying is expected to cook and do all the other house-hold work.

Its the women who have to face eve-teasing.

The college says there is a dress code for the girl students.

And there are so many associations which bring upon the moral code for women.

In India, generally, women are referred to as Lakshmi and a house lightens and prospers once a GrahaLakshmi enters into it. People worship the Durga, the woman, who destroys the manly Asuras.  People worship Saraswathi, the divine knowledge provider. 

Is the daughter-in-law respected as a GrahaLakshmi, when she enters her husband’s home ????

Are the little girls sent to school, to prove that the worship towards Saraswathi is sincere ????

And what do we do to the women who raise their voice against injustice against them ?????  Are they treated like Durga, the destroyer of evil ????

Its the women who suppress the women in this country.

Its the discrimination between a daughter and a daughter-in-law !!!!  Its the discrimination of girl children by their own mother !!!!  Its the discrimination of widow, divorcee by their own mother and family !!!!  Its the discrimination, when women menstruate !!!!

And sadly, all these discriminations are done by women towards women !!!

And when we are so sadly obsessed with the male child, how can we expect a male to give respect to the women ????

First, let us give respect to other women around us, let us treat them with equality, let us not discriminate them !!! Then women will feel the confidence in them glowing.  This in turn will gain the respect that is due to women.

I hereby tag IHM, Indy, Smita, to take this up and do their best.

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21 Replies to “Women against Women.”

  1. Very well said Uma…
    Thank u Rash !!!
    If women treats other women in their household with respect..lot of problems will be solved..
    8 daughters for son…OMG…i m wondering..how those daughters will feel when they get to know about this…
    Oh, all the girls knew – but what can they do ????

    Like

  2. Very well said! and well expressed too Ums 🙂
    Thank you, Pix.

    I wanted to enter my stories for this contest, but, I missed the deadline 😦
    I am glad you made it into the contest.
    We need to start respecting each other first, the mother, MIL should understand that they are women too…
    I can never understand how a woman can subject another woman to such torture and harrassment… 😐
    Yes, indeed, times need to change.

    Like

  3. Some women make life so miserable for other women! Who says it’s men anyways, they just follow the norm… respect and a lot of consideration for others makes a world of a difference.
    If women show the required respect and consideration towards other women, the situation is certainly bound to change.
    Very well put Ums… it’s the women alright, wonder when they realise it… shd have I said we?! 😛
    – Ashes
    Thanks Ash !!!

    Like

  4. Finally !!! I must have commented this theme of yours in so many blogs !!! Women has been the ever green vamp for other women ! Learn to respect another woman and then fight for respect from men ! Good one Uma !!!
    Thanks !!!

    Like

  5. Yes..i am completely agree with your opinion..its always Woman who descriminates other Woman..I have seen many families giving diffrent treatment to their daughters and DIL in the name “hamare liye hamari bahu bhi beti ki tarah hai”
    All those dialogues certainly irritate, na ???

    And a desire for son is strongly seen in lower class population !
    Absolutely !!! Its an obsession !!!

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  6. Ums…Oh my god! Now I must put on my thinking cap…hard for me! Lol! But will perhaps give it a go! Thanks Ums!!!
    I just remembered the guest post u did for Everyday Gyaan and immediately tagged you. If you’ve missed it this time, make sure you are ready with a post for the next year.

    Like

  7. So true, Uma! We women are the ones who refuse to treat each other with respect. Each of the cases you cited, happens all around us. I was shocked to meet somebody who goes around touching young girls feet for some religious reason, but had no qualms in ordering her DIL to abort her female foetus.
    Thats the discrimination we do to other women and it is a shame.
    Brilliant post!
    Thank you, Smitha !!!

    Like

  8. I always wonder why a mother-in-law not able understand her daughter-in-law… Because she too would gone thru the same phase and instead of making it pleasant they are giving tit for tat… Here i am seeing the ragging thing… I rag you… You rag your junior… 😡
    I wish better sense prevails and women respect each other 🙂 🙂
    True to the point !! But its an irony that the mil-dil relationship is always under pressure.

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  9. Well said Uma! Y do we blame men when we ourselves don’t respect our kind?
    Right.
    Its high time women form a chain and support each other. We can definitely do it!
    We can move mountains, only if we wish. I hope the mentality changes.

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  10. Women is the worst enemy of women.That is age old theory. I have seen that a lot , like women bitching against another women (even about good friends).
    Yes, right, its sad that they do this.

    @ MIL -DIL —Uma now a days things are getting better in many families MIL-DIL are a gang or even like best friends\own daughters and jointedly screwing up the son\husband.Thigh is like now a days most of the parents having 1 or 2 kids , so they are considering DIL ,SIL as there own son\daughter.
    I hope that there are changes, but certainly not to screw the happiness of the man.

    between well written.
    Thanks Anish !!!

    Like

  11. “let us give respect to other women around us, let us treat them with equality, let us not discriminate them !!! Then women will feel the confidence in them glowing. This in turn will gain the respect that is due to women.”- Absolutely! Fantastic post, Uma.
    Thank you, Deeps. And welcome here !!!

    Wish you all the luck for the contest 🙂
    Thank you, I need them all.

    Like

  12. You brought to light an important issue amongst the countless problems involving women.
    It’s hard to find a solution to the troubles with the mindset, but understanding this important fact being a woman is very vital.
    Let’s strive to be better women ourselves before we continue our fight for equal rights and equal respect in a society dominated by men.
    So many things need to be changes and the first in that is the mindset of women towards other women.
    Excellent post Uma 🙂
    Thanks CB.

    Keep up the good work!!
    Trying hard to. 😉

    Like

  13. [delurking]
    Thank you. This post made you do it.
    yes thats a long ignored point u`ve made. forget the cliched,archaic MIL DIL vamp scenario i’ve been a witness to modern[educated & successful]women who told their best friend-a guy, that its justified to trick a girl into sexual abuse because she disagreed with them and was pushed to react negetively by them.the guy even went on to say he protected his girl friends by abusing her and she needed to learn a lesson. guess education,financial independence doesnt change much of what kind of a person u become
    Thats a horrible thing to do. This woman going to such cheap levels, becos her frnd disagreed with them – is just too much !!! Sad state indeed.

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  14. Women are conditioned to uphold some confused ‘values’ – they are put in positions where they feel insecure without suppressing other women. As a young girl she is told she must pray for her brother’s long life and she understands that the brother and every boy is more valued than any girl; she sees her father taking decisions for an obedient or submissive mother; she is taught her life’s goal is getting married and staying married no matter what; then she must give birth to a son; she must raise that son to take care of her, and even protect her from her husband if he is abusive (daughters are not seen of any use in these matters, hence another way they are not worth having), then naturally when this son gets married she feels insecure when she sees an (often) better educated, self reliant daughter in law- she feels useless now that this longed for male-child has someone else to ‘cook and clean’ for him and thus begins another cycle of abuse 😦

    It’s all connected – so long as boys and men are seen as protectors and also as powerful, ‘have to be tolerated’ abusers, and so long as we raise girls as helpless dependants, this will not change. 😦
    Yes, this is the basic brought up, in so many families. And certain things ingrained into the mind at a younger age, is difficult to do away with later, even if we understand later that its wrong.
    There’s so much to change and so much to do.

    Thanks for tagging me, I am too late for participating but I do hope to write a post Uma.
    Actually, every post of yours can be an eligible entry into the contest. Anyway, waiting for this special one. 🙂

    Like

  15. After a long time I am visiting your blog. I am seeing Mahakavi Subramaniya Bharathiyar on your words and thoughts. A very Good one & Absolutely true.

    Like

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