6-year penance

Nancy, my good friend, you’ve really understood my need of topics for doing this monstrous task of NaBloPoMo, this December.  May be I shld have taken it up, in February, I could have finished it in just 28 posts.

Anyway, Nancy commented in her post, that the topic could be used by me, to write about my own experience.  And so here it is.

What is the marriageable age for women in India ??????  18 yrs, right ?????  And so, my Mom was waiting for my 18th birthday to come.  That same day, she took my horoscope to our family sastrigal (guru) and gave him the first request – Pl find a good groom for my daughter.

Me and my sister were very much against this.  Why so early ?????  I was studying and didn’t want to get married so soon.

My Mom had her one and only reason.

I was born under the Moola star.   Girls with Moola star have the monster effect of swallowing their future father-in-law. Don’t know which monster created this. So, she has to start looking early, so that I get a good-hearted man.  Also, she can pick and choose families, where I won’t be having a father-in-law.

Also, I was the first daughter in the house, the grandchild in both maternal and paternal sides. So, the whole family was getting excited to see me getting married.  But all I could think was, they are all getting excited in pushing me out of the house.

Whatever reasoning I did for postponing this match finding drill, fell on deaf ears.

My Mom had formed the Core team which consisted of my Mother, my first Mami, my Chachi and my grandmother.  Both my Mom and my Mami were working and their weekly off was only Sunday.  I can’t imagine how many Sundays, have they lost searching a groom for me.

They registered with every available Matrimonial Agency in the City, to begin with.  Poor Mom, may be she would have been benefitted, had there been any Matrimonial Websites, in those days.

Those Agencies will come up with a newsletter, where all the details of the registered members will be printed.  So, my Mom and one of her teammates will visit one Agency after another, every Sunday.  They’ll patiently go through the newsletter and see if any grooms will match with their major criteria – no future father-in-law.

If that criteria is satisfied, then they’ll write down all the groom’s details, along with his horoscope.

Now, all these grooms horoscopes will be sent to our family sastrigal, for matchmaking.  Then after the sastrigal gives his verdict, my Mom and one of her team mates will visit this groom’s place.

And after going there, they’ll be informed that the guy is already married and they totally forgot to remove his details from the matrimonial agency.  You should have seen my Mom’s face, during those times.  Poor Mom – she was disappointed so many times, but never she went back on her mission.

Every passing day became a week and weeks to months and months to years, but these women dutifully carried on the task of finding me a groom with just only one criteria – no future father-in-law.

After six long years of penance, and looking at every possible boy in our community, these women were totally disappointed.  Nobody to match our girl and our criteria – What to do ?????   🙄

Then one fine day, S’s mother called home.  She told that they have seen my horoscope and they are very satisfied. Can we come and see the girl, was her direct question.

My Father, who attended the phone, was quite happy and hesitant too.  He was fumbling for words to ask her about the important criteria.  How to go about that ????

So, my Dad told her, that my daughter has got the Moola star. Is that OK ????

My mother-in-law agreed and also proceeded to tell my Dad that S’s father died when S was only 11 yrs old.

And so, finally, my marriage was fixed with S.

The most surprising thing is, my Mom and her team mates went about every part of Chennai to look for a groom for me.  But S came from a place just 2 Km away from our home.  Isn’t it surprising ?????  You might be searching the whole world for a suitable partner.  In all possibilities, he might be just a few houses / streets away.  And till you meet up with him and talk to him, you’ll never know.

And so, my Mom’s six-year penance was blessed by God and I finally got married.

Pl await more interesting incidents !!!!!!


30 Replies to “6-year penance”

  1. You might be searching the whole world for a suitable partner. In all possibilities, he might be just a few houses / streets away – so true…this can be good tag to do…how did u meet ur hubby dear 🙂
    i luvd the way nancy described everything and now you too 🙂


  2. Hmm.. interesting narration!
    Truly agree about the partner being just a few door steps away! 😀

    My dad tried to search a Groom for me, they tried for like a year I guess. Then, I got called and blasted for making them search!! 😆
    They were quite happy when my husband proposed and we decided to get married!!


  3. Nice post Uma…..really interesting how the horoscope plays a BIG role in our Indian especially Hindu homes.
    I’ve heard about some christian families believing in going thru a horoscope just to avoid major pitfalls but luckily for us my husbands family never believed in it and even if they did none of us had a horoscope to show 🙂

    Waiting to read the rest :-)!!!!!


    1. Yes, the horoscopes are just too much, sometimes.

      But my sister and my brother, both got married without the horoscope’s interfering hand !!! They decided their partner – and my parents agreed without a fuss.


  4. Fantastic read 😀
    I know it must have been real tough times then what now sound like a fairytale come true.

    Loved the way how you found your prince charming hardly a couple of km from home.

    Can’t wait to read more interesting posts 🙂



  5. LOL !!! everytime I read stories about astrology, thats the first thing I do “LOL” !!! funny creatures those astrologers are !!! If they can predict anyones future, why dont we make a horoscope of India and let them tell what the future lies in store for India ! 😀 😀 😀

    6 years??? and I thought my 2 and a half years was the longest !

    Wish you both a happy married life. Or like Swarrs husband Su claims, wish you a happy life, and wish your hubby a married life 😉


  6. Interesting topic uma.Our parents do so much to get us married no.I remember my mom every sat used to be on this mission of getting a boy for my sister as sat and sun was holiday for her.Early in the morning she used to go to all these communities meetings and get togethers.

    I love to read about horoscope and astrology for fun.


  7. Nice writeup Uma. This reminds me of all this match making sites and what if google came up with something like astrological_match.google.com which is kind of like maps but highlighting the matches near by in a map 🙂 Parents will save lot of time 🙂


  8. I like your experience but couldn’t resist this comment about moola nakshatra. Goddess Saraswathi is Moola nakshatra who is married to brahma (his father is assumed to be vishnu as he came from the lotus that grew out of vishnu’s navel), as far as most of us know our epics, vishnu didn’t die. they say some similar “kazhamozhi” to girls born with ayilyam star that mother-in-law would kiss the gates of heaven. my mom and dad never believe in this and we have one in the same star living with us and disproving the age old belief. but i found mine kinda like what you mentioned….he lived in the same building as my best friend.


  9. 6 long years! God It would have been pure torture… all that marriage talk wherever u go oooooops… Thankfully my parents and family thought otherwise, they let me study and work as much as I want and then when I was ready, and told them my choice, there were problems (read major earth shattering ones) but the only daughter’s wish was considered and married off in style:) Sometimes I feel in India, the parents start looking for a groom for their daughter from the day she is born, u know a glance at every bachelor even tiny tots boys who are around and a note in the mind, to check later:P

    cya Uma


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