Does your partner know ???

When my uncle died last year, due to brain haemorrhage, everyone was shocked.  He was just 55 yrs.

The more shocking news came to me later.

His wife didn’t know anything about their investments.

She didn’t know where the money was, to pay the medical bills.  She was also ignorant of any medical insurance they had.

She had never filled up a bank challan before or deposited a cheque in the bank.

But, all the accounts and the investments were in her name.  So, she has signed wherever my uncle has asked her to.

She was asking every one to help her to withdraw some money.

I was totally at a loss for words, when I heard the situation.  OMG !!!! What has my uncle done ???? Has he tried to protect his wife or leave her in the lurch ????

While he has thought so much abt the future to make good investments, why didn’t he take the time to explain it all to his wife ??????

Why didnt my uncle involve my aunt in doing the banking work, from the time they got married ????

She was forcing herself to learn all these, when she was 50 yrs old, with a grief-filled heart.  She is employed as a teacher and I am amazed how she left it to her husband to deposit her salary cheque, too ????

In my opinion, there should be honest declaration of the bank accounts, shares invested, deposits, medical insurances etc and the nomination should hold the name of the partner.

The investments should be discussed mutually among life partners.  Let us be prepared for the eventual truth.

Whats your take on this ????? Is my uncle justified in whatever he has done ???? Or should my aunt been more adamant in learning all these, much earlier ????

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17 Replies to “Does your partner know ???”

  1. yea, your uncle should have told your aunt about the finances… she should know.
    we are aware, both of us, what we have invested and where the money is.
    It’s a must your partner knows everything, especially money matters.

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  2. I have a friend in US whose hubby had brain Hemorrhage and he went into coma. Though my fren was somebody who loved freedom this guy had made gher totally dependent on him. When he went into Coma this girl knew the password of only one account & the account where all their money is kept can not be touched until the guy is awake!!

    Imagine in an alien country they need money they have money but can not access it. The girl was suddenly so helpless & lost!!! She is trying to get on terms but has taken a major setback!!!

    We should think of all possibilties in such matters shouldn’t make ourselves dependent on outr spouse so much that we are lost when we really need to be independent!

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    1. OMG !!! To feel lost in an alien country is just too much.

      The partners should not procrastinate informing their wives on such important things like money matters and how to access them, in case of emergency.

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  3. Certainly not ! Whatever your uncle did was a blunder ! But Im sure he didnt do it on purpose. He probably never wanted to bother your aunt which is a typical male mentality. and his brain haemorrhage, as u said, was totally unexpected. Im sure he would have shared all the details with your aunt if he had some prolonging disease like cancer. May his soul rest in peace.

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    1. Thats exactly what I am trying to tell, Vimmuuu !!!! Nobody knows abt our next minute !!!! Life is so uncertain. Its better to inform the wife on such important things before hand.

      Actually, I would still feel that such decisions shld be taken with the wife’s consultation and agreement.

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  4. Even if these things are not discussed(which shd not be the case firstly) between them for whatever reason, I think your Uncle or anyone at all, must have all this written down somewhere for the family in case of emergency! This happened with my cousin who passed away this year leaving his wife in a similar sad situation, in the US from a brain haemorrhage too! Luckily some other cousins that live there drove over from another state to help!Our family went through great pain to see how distraught she was due to the early loss of her husband and her desperation over money matters of which she was clueless! My MIL was also not completely sure about my late father in laws money accounts, and all this is really a lesson to learn from for the rest of us! Very sad situation!

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      1. Nw, we feel so, but in the midst of day-to-day activities, wonder if we do think abt it?
        I know he must hv told ur aunt abt all this, but I wanna be in his shoes and think.
        It happens so many times that ppl go on dng a few things which we may never realize we hv to do some day and feel we shud hv only in their absence 😦
        Me : That’s why Swaram, its better to consult with your partner before deciding – then there is no need of telling things separately !!!!

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  5. Very thinking post Uma…..this kind of situation happens everwhere and anybody can fall prey to these situations. Women have more say and can think independently but even then such incidents can occur due to carelessness.

    p.s: I came here twice in the past week to comment but aen moukae par koi aayaa aur mujhe laptop bandh karna pada :-/….thts why the gap 🙂

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