Endless motherhood…

” WOW, Uma, your children are quite grown up, isn’t it ??  You are absolutely free, now.  No problems, for you. The girls are big enough to take care of themselves.  But look at us – our children have just joined school. Its war everyday, to feed, dress and to put them to sleep. “

Now, I’ve listened to this dialogue, more than a hundred times.

Just because my girls are grown up and are in their teens, doesn’t mean that I don’t have problems.  Its just that the problems are of greater intensity.  They have their adolescent problems, peer pressure to do stuff, a line of stubbornness to handle – which was not there before, refusing to mingle with others (this character will change slowly, I know) and many more like this.  And, I’ve to help them without showing that I am helping. It is a tough situation, still.  May be I don’t have to do the regular bathing, dressing, feeding, helping with homework stuff – but I do have my share of problems in dealing with 2 teenagers.

Once my daughters were in their room doing some school work and I was busy in the kitchen.  Suddenly, I hear higher decibels from the girls room.  Generally, I don’t interfere because I think that they should sort out their differences on their own.  And there are times, when the arguments are silly and over some stupid topic.  That’s why, I try to keep away. 

Even after some time, when the voices didn’t reduce, I went to their room.  Just as I entered, I heard the elder one scolding the younger one and the younger one was almost to tears.  So, I told my elder, that what she is doing is not correct.  But even before I could finish the sentence, the younger one came for her sister’s rescue.  And suddenly the tables turned – the sisters vs their mom.  Now, I looked like a Big Fool.  Lesson learnt – Never interfere when siblings are arguing.  Only when they try to hit at each other, should you interfere.

As the girls keep growing, I don’t think that I can sit quietly telling myself, that my job as a mother is done with. Such a thought has never come to any mother in this world.  However grown up the children be, the mother always tries to solve problems for them.  As everyone of you would have experienced, I also have my mom, advising me for something or other, even today.  Its an inherent part of being a mother – always thinking for the betterment of her children.

At this juncture, I want to tell you all about this wonderful movie – “Because I said so”.  I like Diane Keaton, who has donned the mother’s role, in this movie.  This movie shows how a mother interferes in her daughter’s life, in fixing a boy friend for the daughter. Its hilarious and very thought provoking too.

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16 Replies to “Endless motherhood…”

  1. Nice post Uma! I hv seen my aunts telling my Mom how she is lucky we r grown up n their children r so small n now they feel they r growing up too fast n want to freeze time 😉
    So, u said it rt! Its valued lifelong !

    UmaS : Very much ! The feeling of Motherhood ends with our last breath, only.

    I wanna fight with my sis nw 😦

    UmaS : Just do it, dear. Don’t postpone things.

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  2. yes you are right… never interfere when siblings fight… they eventualy kiss and make up… lol…
    UmaS : They made me feel like a monster, OOOHHH, I’ll never interfere !
    we three brothers specialise in it… now that we are grown up we dont do hatha pai… otherwise earlier it would be WWF to prove who is right or strong… lol… 😆
    UmaS : WWF ??? Did anyone of u get hurt during these fighting sessions ? Do u still argue over opinions / passions anything…

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    1. we didnt get hurt but the sofa’s and the beds did !!!!!! lol… sometimes even the wall clocks… !!!!!
      UmaS : Poor things…

      we still argue… ha !! a lot … you cannot imagine… but these days we dont do WWF… its silence that has replaced WWF… which totally sucks… unlike earlier we are now all over 27 years na…. so have to act mature… 😦
      UmaS : Can understand. WWF days were much better than silent war days, na ??? Your brothers are younger or older to you ??? Becos, me being the eldest of all, I had to give in to lot of things.

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      1. i have two younger brothers.. they are twins… well elder ones do have to give in.. but over all i think it was all fair.. i got things always before and so many things they would have to use that were used by me.. 😉 its all okay… i love that phase of growing up a lot more now … !! those were the days… sigh..

        UmaS : Twins, so nice. Yeah, childhood memories just make you….sigh…with joy, happiness….Wont those days come back ????

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  3. As someone once told me,

    If you don’t have kids then that’s the only worry but if you have then that’s the worry for lifetime.
    UmaS : Very true, na !!

    We never cease to be parents and as you said responsibility and problems change as they grow. We grow as parents too.
    UmaS : Yeah, when a baby is born, the mother is born, too.

    And sibling fights reminded me of my brother’s and mine. We were united when external forces and that’s parents entered our room. Ha..ha..ha..
    UmaS : But the sibling bonding is great, right ? You always have someone to fall on, during desperate times.

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    1. Uma, are you sort of blackmailing me into having a sibling for Peanut? Ha..ha..ha..

      No way! one and done is my policy. Something she doesn’t have, she won’t miss. Her Dad is an only child too. 🙂

      UmaS : Somebody who feels guilty is reacting, hehehe !!!
      BTW, I was only referring to u and ur brother. No hidden meanings to it.

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      1. Ha..ha..ha.. no guilt! I never regret my strong decisions.

        I am just 31 and Peanut is only 5. If I want, I can have it 😉 . I just am not a very kids friendly person. 😀 I wanted a child and have it.
        UmaS : I think you’ve talked abt this in detail in one of ur blogs. Just remembered. I’ve no idea of changing your mind. The decision is entirely yours !!!
        BTW, if you are not a kids friendly person, are you a DON friendly person ??? My God, its like a mela in the comments section of Cross-Border Terrorism. Enjoyed it so much.

        I have a brother but then there are things that I share with my dear friends and mom that I can’t with him. Every relation has its charm.

        Anyways, different people different choices.
        UmaS : I too have a younger brother and a younger sister. The bond with my sis is just too gud, the same level I couldn’t achieve with my brother till now. But, recently, during his visit to our home, everything changed. I feel we bond better now. Why didn’t I realise this earlier – is what I ask myself. Even with blood relations, bonding takes time.

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      2. Ha..ha..ha.. Don friendly. Sure!

        Oh! I am very close to my brother. He visits us almost all weekends and we have a blast. We were close while growing up too.

        Having siblings is the best (no two opinion about that). But I also have several people in my life who are only child and still preferred to have only child of their own too. I am lucky to have some really good girl friends and a great mom with whom I can share almost everything.
        UmaS : Lucky U 🙂

        Anyways moving on. 😀 Hey! just read your comment on Vimmu’s. Having lived a nomadic life, I can understand almost all Indian languages to an extend and speak couple of them (not that well but I manage)…all courtesy friends. 😀
        UmaS : When we shifted to Hyd, my hubby would take so much lessons on galiyan in telugu. I used to wonder, why is he learning all those rubbish. He explained, at least u shld know, when somebody is using it on you !!! LOL for all your tamil galiyaan !!!

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  4. My little boy is 3 years old, but I often wonder what life will be like when he’s a teenager… your beautiful post gave me a little peek into what may come.

    Of course, he’s a boy. And probably will be my only child.

    And he won’t have anyone to argue with but us, his doting parents…

    Wait, what? LOL. Something tells me I’ll have other adventures to deal with… parenthood is rather an adventure, isn’t it? Thanks for a moving post! And thanks for my welcome over at The Self Love Project!

    UmaS : Dont ever have any doubt on that – its only adventures through out our life. So, what you have a boy, you’ll have your moments !!! Maybe I’ll be reading ur post down the line, about ur son’s adventures in life.
    Welcome here, too !!

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  5. motherhood is endless and its so lovely because u feel so wanted. as u rightly said till the last breath ur child will always remain as a child in ur eyes. u shld enjoy every bit of the pleasure and the pain of their growing years b’cos nowadays they go away to study much earlier than before and then u really long for their visits. happy motherhood to everybody

    UmaS : Thank u so much. Yes, I can make out the sadness – when u wrote that u long for their visits. You missed her, this holiday break, na ??? But even after their studies, even when they have their own family, even then we can’t stop ourselves reacting to the instincts of motherhood. Hope u have seen that movie – Because I said so. Pl do, if u havent. You’ll like it.

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  6. Hey Umi, I am totally with u on this. Yes, I have heard people say that to you so many times. And heard your responses too. I agree. When they are little, they don’t play mind games as much. When they are older, you have to choose your tactics well so as not to push them to edges or corners. It is so much ,more difficult. With every age, comes its own unique set of difficulties. That is why it is known as growing pains!
    UmaS : Growing pains…Very true !!! What some ppl think is that, since they have toddlers at home and their hands are always full – they think that I am sitting idly at home. I’ve also been through all those things – its not that I’ve jumped to this stage with teenagers at home !!
    Its a tough job – being a mother – however big the children are.

    And yes, nice movie. I saw it twice. 😀
    UmaS : Nice one, na !! Thoroughly enjoyed it !! BTW, did u see the stuff the mother-daughter duo baked – It was awesome !!!

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  7. When siblings are fighting each other means they share their love, care, affections deeper and deeper.

    Regarding the motherhood would like to dedicate this famous tamil song

    Ammaa enrazhaikkaadha uyirillaiyae
    ammaavai vanangaadhu uyarvillaiyae
    naeril ninru paesum dheyvam
    petra thaayanri vaeronru aedhu
    .
    .
    eeraindhu maadhangal karuvoadu enaiththaangi
    nee patta perum paadu arivaenammaa
    eeraezhu jenmangal eduththaalum uzhaiththaalum
    unakkingu naan patta kadan theerumaa

    Source:

    Movie-:- Mannan, Singer – Yesudas Music Illayaraja

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  8. I saw “Because I said so’, with my daughter very recently on the TV. I loved it, and I wish we had Indian movies like this too…

    I totally agree with you, I too avoid interfering with my kids unnecessarily, and Uma, I think mothers delight in the kids uniting against us 🙂

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    1. Of course, I am delighted when my girls team up against me. Its the bestest thing that can happen and I am so happy that they will be there for each other.

      You liked the movie, eh ??? Nice one, isnt it ??? It shows where we mothers should draw a line, na ???

      Like

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