Are you a good parent ?

This happened to one of my friend’s cousin, say S, who is just about 17 yrs old. She is very calm and quiet, refusing to mingle with others. When I enquired about her, I was told that she is undergoing psychiatric treatment.

OMG ! I was saddened by the whole story !!!!!!!

When S finished her 10th standard, her parents put her in junior college to do her 12th board exams, in the maths and science category. So S joined the hostel to stay close to her junior college. But after an year of her studies, S felt that all the studies and preparing for the entrance exams are just too much for her and she requested her parents to come and take her back home. But since she had already finished one year of studies, her parents tried to convince her that everything will workout fine. And then came the board exams and it was such a bad luck for S as she failed to get selected to any of the prestigious engineering colleges in the city.

Now, her parents decided that S continue to train in the junior college, so that she can write the entrance exams again and may be she’ll be selected in any of the engineering colleges in the next year. It was at this time, that S requested so many times that she doesn’t like to continue the studies. But in vain, the parents never listened to her – her problems – why she doesn’t want to continue.

The result – S is under depression – of the severe order. She now wants to break away from everything. So, S had been advised psychiatric help and is now under medication. She is so dazed because of the medication that she doesn’t communicate with anybody. Now, she is undergoing training for meditation, to channelise her energies.

A very confused, depressed little girl – all thanks to her parents.

My questions are

  • Is it justified that the parents always tell (or probably force) what their child has to study or do in their life ?
  • Why are the parents (so called matured adults) so much obsessed with this engineering or medicine courses ?
  • Whatever the parents were not able to do, when they were young, can they force it on their children to satisfy their inner self ?
  • Don’t the parents need to ask the child, if they are willing to do a particular course or more importantly – What does the child want to do in life ?

Why don’t we give freedom to a boy or girl, who is 16 / 17 yrs old, to choose whatever they want to do in life ? I am not denying the responsibility of the parents in the whole decision process. The parents can guide them, give them inputs, help them to choose from different options available – but never force them to study a particular subject.

In today’s world, there are so many ways to satisfy the soul. Starting from a beautician, fashion designer, an artist, an author, a lyricist, an environmentalist, dancer, singer, journalist, animal welfare worker, potter, chef – you can be anybody you want. The satisfaction that is achieved by working on your passionate goal is just something that words cannot describe.

Not everybody who is born on this earth can be an engineer or a doctor. It is total absurdity to think on those lines.

This request is for all those parents who come across my blog – Please allow your children to be what they want to be. Don’t ever force your children to study a particular subject or take some course – just to satisfy your own inner desires. Be there as a guiding light, a beacon, for your children. Support them with all your capacity.

Already, in this world filled with scientific gadgets, we’ve lost the so called innocence in our children. Now, lets not lose our children to the confines of depression.

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3 Replies to “Are you a good parent ?”

  1. That is really sad. What a waste of a young life. I read in today’s paper abt a girl who hung herself becos she was tensed abt her TOEFL’s. Her father and brother are in good positions in the US. She could have written the exam first. There is just too much pressure on kids today. Too much!

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  2. Incidents like these scare the wits out of me….

    But it is true….compared to yesteryears today's kids are made to slog it out whether in the sports field or studies…its all abt competition & its the parents who r the main culprits.

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  3. Absolutely true, Nancy. The parents are the culprits.
    Its not fair to dump those unfulfilled dreams of parents on their children. What about the children’s own dreams ?

    Yes Butterfly, Too much pressure from all sides – parents, peers, self.

    Like

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