The life cycle of my DREAM –
18 yrs – I feel on top of the world, as I had finished my Diploma course as a topper, best student of the year, got a job offer even before my diploma certificate – is there anything else I want? Nope, I am too happy with the way life was leading me. I sincerely hope to complete my engg graduation in 2 years time. My life’s ambition now is to join with software giant, MICROSOFT. Not a bad goal, right ?
19 yrs – Applied for engg graduation. I’ve to free myself from the work pressure and go and attend the evening classes – but alas, not one class happens. I am disappointed at myself for not taking the classes seriously. The exams come and go, without me in it. Next year, I’ll surely do it.
20 yrs – I can actually put a ditto here – for I failed with myself for not completing my graduation. I punished myself hard, but no vain.
21 yrs – The job is boring – rather I want to do something else – this is not what I wanted in life. The graduation part not happening, I wanted to change job or do something irrational (exaggeration) in my life. I fell ill, which is the reason I chose to resign from job.
23 yrs – Change of job. Now into a software company, I thought I’ll realise my dream – MICROSOFT. I kept working hard, learning all the possible things on the way. I was happy with the way things were happening.
24 yrs – What is this ? Here comes my Prince on a horse and just carries me away !!! I am engaged and married within a matter of 6 months. Now what happens to my dream? Am I happy to have found a good partner in life or am I sad that my dream has taken a side seat now ? Dream on hold, for now.
26 yrs – Mother of two girls, resigned from job as there is no full-time support at home. OK, where is my dream ? I have left it somewhere in my suitcase, during the process of motherhood. Don’t lose ur dream – I am telling myself – u can pursue it when the girls r big enough.
27 – 30 yrs – In a feeble attempt to protect my dream or actually the person I was when I was working, I did a lot of things. To keep my mind from wandering into nonsense jungle that surrounds us, I did a lot of things – glass paintings, stitching to name a few. I didn’t want lose ME- the person I wanted to be, when I was young.
31 yrs – Very tough year in my life – I was left alone to handle my girls, my ailing mil – my hubby was in another city as he couldn’t get a transfer. I’ve cried so many lonely nights – whats happening to my life ? I am so and so for lot of people, but I am not what I wanted to do.
I am searching for the suitcase which had my dream – but the suitcase itself is missing.
32 yrs to till now – I am now in Hyd – away from my dream suitcase now. I feel free to do something else with my life. I’ve changed in the process of shifting, I feel. Actually the change has happened all along, which I was unable to see. This change is what makes u a family person, first. The priorities in life have gone for a total revamp. My dream suitcase is in the loft of my brain, safely secured. The suitcase has done its job – it has kept me going in times of despair – in maintaining my sanity and now its gone to its proper place. My daughters are my dream now. Their dreams are my vision, my goal. I am striving very hard to assist them in whatever they do – GOD, LET MY GIRLS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS.