Sai Baba temples in Chennai
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When the cycle doesn’t hit on time
Umpteen thoughts join in the crime
Of sleepless moments
Praying that the untoward accident
Didn’t happen this time !
Doubts keep plaguing
A non-stop checking
For that funny feeling
As the breath is quivering
“Oh !! Come on now”
But the uterus held on to the waiting.
The mind is never still
Keeps googling for reasons to chill
But that big doubt on heart is heavy
What if the knots on the ovary
(he he…that’s stupid but scary) ;)
And then the moment came
In glory and making one sane
That all this drama need not be staged
Its the pause dear…
So, stay calm and clear :)
Read my previous post on this topic – Conversations to catch up on some of my favorite conversations.
And it continues…
Many people think I’m reserved or I’m shy to begin with. But people who know me in and out will vouch for the chatter box I’m – it takes time to open up, right ?? Or else, it should be the right person – then the conversations hit a high on first sight :)
The lovely bond I had with two supermarket sales girls is a fond memory. Whenever I visited the supermarket, those two girls will be around to help me with what I want. Their smile and my instant reaction to it and of course, the easy chatter that followed made the bond stronger. They keep talking about their own life or about a new song or movie or whatever and I keep going on about my girls and other stuff. Now, they have moved away from that supermarket and I see them in some other shop selling things. But that smile is the same and words flow freely and they ask me about my girls, referring to them by name. One of my fav bonds with random people.
There used to be a time, when I was a Stay at home mom and spent a lot of time online, writing posts almost daily and totally enjoying it. And through the blogs, I met Sagarika, my dear friend. We used to talk a lot on Google chat – I still remember the crazy amount of time we spent chatting online about everything under the sun. Such a memorable time and a friendship to remember for a lifetime. And when I met her, it was all the more wonderful – she is just an extension of the screen persona. Even though both of us have become so busy to chat like that, she’s stays dear to my heart always. Now, as I think and write about her, I suddenly see an update from her and she was also thinking about me – such telepathy :D
In the apartment I stay, I never get sunlight in my balconies or rooms or anywhere. There is plentyful of light but no sunlight. So, I hold back my love for flowering plants as they need a decent amoutn of sunlight to survive. My sole comfort is my money plant ! If you’re wondering about why a plant has come into this post, then you just don’t know me ;) Amazing are my conversations with my money plant. Every day as I water the plant, sprinkle water on the leaves and keep talking about what a darling plant she is, I can see the happiness in my plant growing. And she makes me happy with a new leaf next morning. Have you ever talked to your plants ??
Me and my daughters share this rare and beautiful bond of talking our heart out without hiding our feelings. And with both of them away from home, our own Whatsapp group keeps us alive and buzzing with life always. From teasing one another, to very bad lame jokes, to movies and serials, studies, assignments – anything that can happen in our lives reflects in this group of ours. Its our tiny let out place and sometimes I love reading the conversations between my girls :D
Sometimes random conversations to a stranger in the supermarket can lead to great bonds of friendship. This has happened to me and I feel quite lucky about it. She was looking at things in one aisle and I happened to just look at her and we smiled and started talking and there has been no looking back. That first meeting, we would’ve talked non-stop for an hour or so. It made us good partners for walking too, as we talked more than walk. Even though I’m unable to spend that much time talking to her now, she still remains one of the wonderful friends, with whom I can be myself.
More conversations to come ;)
The clothesline of mine
Is on mood whine
I kept pondering
On this thing and that thing
Maybe I use them less
As time gives me a press
The clips too are out of mood
For they miss the hued
They don’t give a heed
To my pacification deed
Then I know the reason
For a dull season
Its the sisters
And the lack of their colors !
I think it was around 9.30pm. As I was about to lie down for a good night’s sleep, it started.
The sudden sharp pain just beneath my left breast.
“OMG !! What it could be ?? Why it should pain suddenly ?? I was fine a moment ago…now from where this pain came ??”
Then I sat up…tried to take a few deep breaths. But the pain was mind-shattering.
“Shit…what’s this stupid pain doing in me ?? I don’t like the idea of it in my body”
I sat and tried to drink some water. Every time I swallowed, I could feel the pain increasing.
“Dear God…what’s the reason for this stupid pain ??”
I can’t even hold onto that place…such a weird place to be paining.
And suddenly, I thought I’ll check online with this symptom of pain. Bang…it came as some rib inflammation !!
“Holy shit…this is getting worse”
Suddenly, the wonderful partner of mine who tried to sleep through my ooh and aah, couldn’t hold it anymore. He asked me “What did you eat today??” And then I was shocked to hear my own answer.
“Potatoes and potatoes for lunch and dinner”
OH WOW !! What joy I had in finding the culprit of that pain. That is when we concluded that it could be a gas catch.
I’ve never had a gas catch before and the pain was not making it easy for me to think. He has had it before, but the catch is always in his back. I generally pat him hard on his back for sometime and then he burps and he’ll be fine. But where do I pat for me…such a weird place for a catch !!
I went and made myself some warm jeera water and kept sipping it. I was drowsy and tired too. Tried to sleep on my right side and succeeded too.
The pain continued even in the morning. I thought I’ve had enough of this pain. Now all I need to do is get it out of my system.
I started jumping wildly. No music…nothing. Just some wild dancing without knowing any dance steps.
And then it came….one…two…three. All is well.
Are you like TGIF ?? Me too…Hi 5 on that !!
Have a great weekend people and remember to burp :D :D
Hope you are not feeling bored with this onset of leaf and light pics from me !! Its amazing…how the green shade reflects the light of the sun !! The picture, of course, was clicked by my daughter and I feel this is just beautiful. The tender leaf tells many a tale :)
I know its too early to put up a second innings update…but nevertheless words or thoughts cannot be stopped from expressing ;)
Sometimes I wonder whether to put my thoughts as a Facebook update and be lost in the sea of updates there or write a leisurely post on my blog and save it for future references. As always, giving respect to my intuition and to the fact that I love my blog more than anything, the thoughts and hence the words find their way here. And thank you all for reading them and giving your comments :)
The second innings began for me just a few days ago – no, I don’t mean a cricket field. But in my life which some people call the empty nest syndrome. I actually have a lot of plans for it. Since there is no big responsibility of children at home who need my immediate attention, am planning on doing things which I’ve postponed for long.
In the mean time, there is this big reality hits, that I face on a day-to-day basis.
– First of all, there’s no lunch packing. And many days I miss doing it, which I never thought would. Seeing all those empty lunch boxes lying in the shelf makes me nostalgic.
– After switching off the lights at night, there is no little voice that asks, “Mommy, what’s for breakfast tomorrow??” or “What are you packing for lunch tomorrow?”. And I didn’t know that I’ll miss it.
– Suddenly, my 10 ltr pressure cooker looks humongous. And I’ve switched to the 5 ltr one. You feel this is such a small thing ?? Just try changing the regular one – you’ll understand my feelings.
– I’ve the 6 plates idly set of which I’m using only 3 now :\
– Vegetable buying is based more on my taste than the kids.
– Washing machine can be run just two times a week – OMG !! Just imagining those hectic days when I used to put two loads in the machine and wait for it to dry so that it can be ironed…sigh…is this what everybody says that “its just a phase…this too shall pass” !!
– Coffee drinking and Dosa eating – clearing the newspaper and vessels – a few routines that I do…that means I’m free for a chunk of time – may be I can read a book ;) And that’s all the more reason that you see me blogging more and reading more of your posts too :D
– Then what ?? Even my two bedroom flat looks big now !! The mind is seriously thinking of a Studio apartment ;)
– Me, who used to love the weekends, is dreading the same, as work days are better at handling the emptiness at home.
– Its funny how we both are learning to live just by ourselves – sometimes we are so bored that we don’t know what to do, we both get up in the middle of the night like bats and keep talking, many a times we don’t cook elaborate stuff and just stick to thayir sadam (curd rice) – its weird and its funny. Yet we are learning again.
And this is just a sample. Await more updates on my second innings :D
While my wonderful friend is beginning her awesome life with her second born, I’m sitting in an easy chair with a book in hand and Romedy now on in the background, sometimes wondering where the hell did the time fly !!
2 decades back…
It all started with a bump
And then the run to trump
First to the C-sec OP
Vaccination, Pre-school & Props
High speed behind the first one
Crawled behind the second
Holding the cycle to balance
From shop to shop for customized dress fashions
Annual days to Birthdays
There was never a dull day.
And then hit puberty
With its load of curiosity
Any question was met with a question
And with a dramatic expression
But there was a beautiful unity.
The run to strive
Uniforms, books, homework
Arts class, Music, Dance
Cycle, Badminton, Swimming
And I was glad to be alive.
Choices and choices to gear
From clothes to footwear
What to study
And what not to study
Not to forget the teenage frontier.
Not a moment to rest
Packing lunches at my best
Learning to Bake
Some awesome Cake
But I felt a lot blessed !
Board exams take a toll
The grades taking control
A mammoth effort
To ensure support
And then the flying colors make them rock and roll :D
Now, its all done
The birds in their college study den
Putting a brake on my run
That I almost trip and turn
Looking back at all the milestones done
Feeling proud at my marathon.
But I feel a bit weird
When life wants me cheered
To face this second innings
Both of us want it to be a great beginning
Happy we shall be when we have it steered.
Cheers to us on our new innings of life :D
Another picture where I loved the shades of green ! Shail, you inspired me to click these…thanks :D
You know what ??? I love conversations – the various faces and colors of it.
The best of the best conversations till date, which I cherish are from my childhood days – with my sister and pal, over a cup ( a big mug to be precise ;) ) of tea and endless talks – the places can be anything like a corner between the cot and the wall – it can be on the steps overlooking the sky – the terrace with its umpteen crows looking on us – but they are the best and I miss those conversations a lot. We just talk, we don’t give opinions neither we judge. We just talk and I’ve found that great sibling bond with those awesome conversations with her.
And then there are the amazing conversations with my daughters. Even though the ones during their toddler years are adorable, I loved it even more when I could talk to them as adults. The endless talks about this girl and that boy, the testing teachers, the teen issues, the books read, doing the HP discussion on spells and what not, all the rom-coms we’ve watched together, people’s behavior and attitudes, why this superstition and why not that – when I sit to think about it, those talks have made them strong and confident and not to feel awkward about expressing one’s thoughts.
Even though I’m not a great fan of group conversations, there is this place where I’m myself and I love the openness and fun there – my kind of girls group. Did I forget to mention it’s on Whatsapp and I’m loving it there ?? :D Even though I keep typing my thoughts, its great conversation to be there.
Of course, Facebook conversations work great for me with all the new found online friends – there is great exchange of thoughts and ideas and I love it totally.
Those conversations with the neighbor on the corridor…
The casual conversation with the older mamis in our apartment temple…
Those BBC kind of informative conversations with my house-help, Muthu…you know, I actually love the way she talks with me. Yesterday, I discovered one of my sandals was missing which I had left it outside my flat. When I told Muthu about it, she just went on and on about the various incidents on sandal / shoe stealing that has been happening in our apartments. I felt very naive about living in this apartment and knowing nothing about it, while she comes for a few hours and is up-to-date on the happenings here.
When I used to stay in Hyd, my best friend used to stay in the next block. Even though we had an intercom to talk our heart out or a mobile to chat wherever we want, we were amused by our conversations over the balconies using sign language :D Also, all the evenings saw a few of us gather near the play area for a laughter-filled conversation session, which used to be our stress buster and feel lighter time.
When my best friend of college days traced my number and called me, I had one of the best conversations in life, with her. We just picked up from where we left decades ago. It was quite easy and the flow of words and topics, still matched amazingly. That is one conversation to cherish for my lifetime.
This post on conversations can never be complete without the dining table conversations….aaahhh…with hot rasam and pappad, conversations at the dining table are the best. All of us talking about our daily routines with lip smacking sounds in-between make it all the more memorable, on a day-to-day basis.
And finally, here is the picture which initiated the whole post.
If you look beyond the beauty of the room, you can find two happy people conversing as there is no tomorrow. The early morning birds chirping away at the background, the morning freshness of the garden around and a hot cup of coffee in hand made it all the more memorable. I don’t remember on what we spoke, but that happy conversation moment is etched in memory. And I thank my daughter for capturing this moment for me.
So, what are your favorites ??