I got this as a Whatsapp forward; you may have read it somewhere too…
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam:
“When I was a kid, my Mom cooked food for us.
One night in particular when she had made dinner after a long hard day’s work, Mom placed a plate of subzi and extremely burnt roti in front of my Dad.
I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt roti.
But Dad just ate his roti and asked me how my day was at school.
I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mom apologising to Dad for the burnt roti when she noticed.
And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I enjoyed what you made.”
Later that night, when I went to say good night to my father, I asked him if he really liked his roti burnt.
He wrapped me in his arms & said:
“Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired.
And besides… A burnt roti never hurts anyone but unpleasant words do!”
“You know son – life is full of imperfect things…& imperfect people…including me and we all make mistakes.”
What I’ve learnt is :
Accept Each Others Faults and imperfections & Choose To Celebrate the Relationships we have.”
I was going Awwww and how we should respect others and not worry too much about imperfections. Here is a man, who lived by example to show Dr APJ, on the morals of humanity.
Burnt rotis are not personal affirmations to imperfection. It just happened on a particular day. And to throw a tantrum just for that would’ve been a shame.
And then I happened to meet a neighbor, who came home to buy some chapatis. I tried to hide the overflowing clothes on the sofa, which were plying high and in need of folding. She said not to worry and she loved homes which are a messy and natural, how a home should be. At her place, no thing can be placed in the wrong place or clothes left out for long – everything is prim and proper and perfect because that is how her husband likes it !! I was too shocked for words…
Come on, everyone likes a clean house, but too much of restriction to maintain one doesn’t help in the long run.
And the talk drifted, as usual to food – that is our business, you see :)
I was shocked and gaping with open mouth, at how happily she was explaining her husband’s high handedness, related to cooking and other general stuff at home.
Gravies cannot have onions – he doesn’t like it.
Egg plant needs to be fried nicely on all sides – if any part is left less fried, he points it out and tells her that she needs to be more generous with oil !!
Dinner should be served at 7 at any cost – no excuses !!
While her sisters-in-law can visit them anytime, they still pull a cross face when she wants to visit her parents !!
OMG !! Stop it, I said. But she seems to have taken it quite easily, without any resistance, while I would’ve fought tooth and nail for my individual preferences.
So, what do they think ?? That he, the husband, is perfect and the wife needs to mend her ways and keep adjusting to what all he says and does. And these are people, who are married for at least, 20 years (judging by the age of their daughter). So, she has adjusted and mended her ways and never thought of her own way of doing things – her own way of running a household – her own way of making her house beautiful !
My point is not that women should not be homemakers and all. But the choice to be a homemaker should be theirs. And running a household needs every one of the family to participate and not one woman running behind the needs of every individual in the family.
There are some families who live by this and everyone is happy among imperfections.
And then there are others and every time I meet one of them, I am shocked at the difference in their thinking that women are imperfect and only men are perfect !!