My thoughts and expressions
A moment to reflect
Upon thee
Is here
For us to embrace!
Close the eyes
Observe the train of thoughts
Let them all come and go!
Here is the time
To feel gratitude
For this life
For this moment
Where we feel alive!
This solitary moment
Is mine to hold
To breathe in deep
To exhale the stress
And to feel the love
That encircles me!
I didn’t write much about my experience during the 2015 floods in Chennai. I just don’t know why. But today’s scenario around compels me to take time out to write down those moments of utter helplessness when I realized that the place I stayed was surrounded by water.
Rewind to Dec 1st, 2015. It had been raining continuously since Nov 29th or 30th. And I was oblivious to the intensity of the rain as I was busy preparing for the birthday celebration of my husband – read this post to know more about that!
On the night of Dec 1st, around 10’o clock, I heard the rain had intensified and was lashing on us without any mercy. What I saw through my balcony took my breath away! The water was gushing into our apartment through the side gates.
And specifically, to reinstate the seriousness of the issue, I want to tell you that I stayed in Velachery – one of the worst affected areas during Chennai floods 2015. Now, this apartment I was staying in was quite old; it was built around 2000. And the new buildings that happened in recent times, increased their ground level as and when the construction happened. The biggest drawback to all these scenarios is that this whole Velachery was developed over dried-up lake beds.
When I saw the water gushing into our apartment, it looked like a river that gushes out through the mountains. When hit with such force, the whole parking lot on the ground floor started filling up.
Everyone started to worry about their car which was parked. But there was little we could do when there was water everywhere around us. The cars were just let to be there, drowning in the slowly rising water levels. I am just saying…
By around 11.30pm, the power went off. Little did we know that we will get back that power only after 15 days. I am just saying…
I wished my husband exactly by midnight, gave him all those 50 wishes and made him read them all in the mobile torch, wasting precious battery charge. Not that it mattered the next day or for the next 15 days, as the service providing towers were also shut down near our area and we didn’t have any phone connectivity too. I am just saying…
Since the motors in our apartment were all submerged in the water, the maintenance people couldn’t run the motors and hence there was no water for us to use. Whatever was available in the over-head tank, we just filled in the buckets we had in our house. And that is all the water I had for use over the next 2 weeks. I am just saying…
Suddenly we realized we were marooned off inside our block, with no water to even flush the toilet. There was water everywhere around us but I wonder if I had that thing in me to and get a pail from that to flush the toilet. Phew! I am just saying…
The next day morning saw us staring at about 5ft of water in our car parking. All the cars were underwater. The apartment tried to rent motors from outside to drain out the water. But it looked like bad karma as the drained out water went one big round and came back into the apartment through the back door. It was terrifying. I am just saying…
The milkman couldn’t get the milk packets to our homes, not only the next day but for the next 15 days. I am just saying…
We were unable to go out and buy vegetables or provisions. I am just saying…
Many people suddenly found themselves without fuel to cook. I am just saying…
Others didn’t have provisions as they didn’t think that rain could bring in such havoc. I am just saying…
We couldn’t talk or communicate with my daughters and other family members that we were doing fine despite being surrounded by water. All they saw was footage on the television and they really panicked. I finally realized that if we climbed up on top of the water tank which was on the 9th floor, then there was a feeble signal. So, we climbed up, borrowed a phone from a neighbor and called my daughters to just let them know we were good. I am just saying…
My husband started helping out in his own way. Read here to know more.
The refrigerator was cleared and kept open to air it. I finally looked at my refrigerator with pride as I scrubbed it to a shine.
I found books that I had always wanted to read and spent my time reading and reflecting as the man was busy helping out people.
I played scrabble with myself.
I had a nice chat with my neighbor which we never got to do before among all the chores of the house.
We did community cooking and shared food as it helped us to avoid wastage.
I couldn’t have a bath or wash clothes or mop the house. But I survived those 2 weeks, with a minimalistic provision, no electricity, no water, no mobile phones, no TV, no candles too. I am just saying…
What I cooked that day had to be finished within the same night. I cannot carry it forward. Suddenly I reflected on those days where our grandparents lived without a refrigerator or electricity. We just took way too many things for granted! I am just saying…
If I was lucky to get a milk packet, I used it all by the night or made curd. Then the curd next day was a delicacy. Never in my life, I had felt that curd was a delicacy. I am just saying…
Those 15 days of nature-imposed quarantine taught me a lot and the foremost things are not to take anything for granted and for every drop of water I get to drink, I am grateful for it.
And Jan 2018, taught me more lessons on how I should be grateful to have this body and the life within and every moment I live should be valued by me.
I am just trying to say, we are not in the worst of the scenarios if we can just stay calm and remain indoors. I think if people could survive 15 days of nature-imposed quarantine and without any pre-stocking of provisions or vegetables, we can do this with essential goods being available to us, even in this time of quarantine.
It is all in the mind. Our human race has got more survival skills. Even with just rice and no vegetables, I was able to cook something delicious every day. We just need to trust in the process and have faith that things will turn out for the better.
JUST STAY HOME AND STAY SAFE!
Recently, I had a dream. And immediately I decided that I will not share it here, in my space, for I felt it was too personal to put it out in writing. But today’s introspective mood of mine has won over and here I am writing about my dream and my feelings towards it.
I see myself lying on the floor, with blood flowing through the nose and it clearly looks like I am dying. I see my daughters on either side of me. And all this was happening in a house where I used to stay as a teenager. I could also see the man who was walking towards the house as my husband. Then I could hear what I was talking to my daughters; the silly me was so paranoid that the soul will depart soon and was frantically telling all the passwords in all the apps and websites for my daughters to note it down!
Ok…that was the dream! When I woke up from that dream, I laughed out aloud. And kept smiling and laughing whenever I remembered it. The whole idea of not passing on my passwords gave me the worst nightmare, in my dream; it sounded very silly to the present me.
Now, observing that dream from a more matured point of view, I wonder why didn’t I worry about that favorite sari of mine which I didn’t wear many times! I wonder why didn’t I fret over all those jewelry which I loved to buy but never wore them! I wondered at that unused purse, notebook, pen, saucepan, wine glass, coffee mug – anything that I savored for a better day to come. And I had just kept postponing all those favorite things without enjoying them at the present moment.
I had reserved all the good things for a later date.
I had written love notes for all my favorite people for them to see later.
I always plan on going on a trip that I never seem to get to.
Everything was planned for a later date.
Then the dream happened.
My better self took over. This is the day I had waited for. Today I shall proclaim all the love and fondness for all my favorite people in this world. I will hug them with my love and kindness. I will use that saucepan. I took out my favorite coffee mug.
And suddenly the day I am living mattered.
I got a plant. I smelt the flowers. I stared at clouds. I made coffee. I sang my favorite song. I colored in my mandala book. I learned to forgive all those things which happened in the past.
I suddenly understood what I had to do with my life. It is to live this moment!
I recently got a tulsi plant for my home. Even though it is placed rightly in the balcony where there will be plenty of light for the plant, I am looking at it in wonder as it tries to grow out through the grill of the balcony. The light just outside of the grill is too bright than what is inside it and the plant is trying to reach for it. I am just amazed at these ways of nature – to always reach up to a higher level in the most gentle way.
And when a sapling grows into a beautiful tree like the one above, it doesn’t abandon or block the light that gave it the life it needed when it was young. Rather, it lets the light in and allows the light to shine through the leaves, flowers, fruits, and branches! It can result in such dreamy pictures from a nature lover’s point of view. But letting the light in is such a beautiful concept for any person to include in their routine too.
What we use in our childhood to become better beings – those habits, those people who inspire us, those passions – let them all into your life again and again and see your life glow!
The eyes saw the wine bottle first
And you started drooling
All those memories
Of that fermented grape juice
From previous times
Boggled your memory
And hence your mind
The appropriate groundwork was done
You just waited for the bottle to be opened!
You wondered…
“Why can’t this New year arrive early?
It is a stupid idea
To open the bottle for 2020
Why can’t we have in 2019 itself?”
Your taste buds overlapped
In excited agony
And you drooled indicating that to me…Phew!
You got excited…
When the ears confirmed the sound
Of the bottle being opened
“Who cares if the New year has come or not!”
Was the only predominant thought
When the eyes feasted
On the beautiful color of the wine!
The nostrils were ready
And the fragrance that wafted
From the wine
Its pure intoxicating smell
Was just too much, right?
“Bring it to me!”, you ordered.
One sip you had…
The chillness hits you…
There is a forewarning
From a sensible side of the mind
Of not to drink anything cold…
But you push it away…
You are addicted
To the taste of that wine
You wanted more
And more of that drink!
The chilled wine
Went down the throat
Creating the ruckus
Which didn’t hit for more than 2 years
That severe throat pain
And cold and fever
The sufferer is me!
It was because of you
And your love for that taste of wine!
That forever drooling
That forever dancing
Of tastebuds
For that cold wine
Has left you in drylands today…
You are devoid of taste
Your tastebuds are in hiding
You cant even taste your elixir
Leave alone rasam or dal!
Is this what you wanted?
Shame on you…
You have become
The tasteless tongue!
I don’t even know whether to address you as “dear”
For the havoc, you have created
In my body!
I think I escaped the bug for long which can give you body pain, a sudden increase in the levels of phlegm, a sore throat and a feeling to lie down all the time under the comfort of a quilt.
Since the gap has been long, I think its taking vengeance with a force. Its been 4 days now and the running nose has just turned for the worse. And suddenly the cough reminds me of its presence, apart from dealing with the other symptoms. There is a saying that goes like “The cold lasts 7 days with medication and a week without medication”!
All kinds of medication are going inside my body; I hope they all reach the right parts of my body to heal me well!
To add to the chillness quotient, its been raining since morning today. I really wanted the sun to be out for me to soak in the warmth but naaa…life is not like that! Its always not what we want!
And here I take solace by posting pics from archives, where I close my eyes and feel the flowers in my hand, where the warm sun caresses me gently and suddenly I feel all healed.
It is therapeutic!
