Faith came back to me…

in recent times, but in a different way !

faith

Wiki defines Faith as

Faith is confidence or trust in a person (as in their ability), thing, deity, in the doctrines or teachings of a religion, or view (e.g. having strong political faith) even without empirical evidence. It can also be belief that is not based on proof, or as confidence based upon varying degrees of evidential warrant. The word faith is often used as a conceptual synonym for hopetrust, or belief.

I remember those childhood days, where at every opportune moment, faith in our religion, our Gods, our customs, our myths was being thrust upon me.  I rebelled sometimes. “Why should we do namaskaram?” “Does God sit and watch me do it?” “What is the use of chanting all these sanskrit slokas, without understanding the meaning?” “If I don’t apply Vibuthi and Kumkum, why should God hate me?” The questions were endless. Some were asked aloud and some were swallowed with a gulp, for the questions were met with a final glare like “Just do what we say”.

I went around the temples just for the sake of it, wondering to myself if God is watching me do this and if He’ll be happy to see me doing the rounds around the temple.  I asked those Gods, the Ganesha, Shiva, Vishnu – if they are able to hear me chanting the slokas.  Since the meaning was out of my reach, at that age, I wondered what will happen if I am wrong in my pronunciation.  Then one fine day, my aunt introduced me to the Skanda Shasti Kavasam, a long long sloka for the Lord Muruga. First, I was attracted to the music which goes along with singing the slokam. The most important thing was the sloka was in tamil, a language I could understand and so when I recited the sloka, I felt like talking to God. And immediately, Muruga became the favorite God. And of course, my paati gave me permission to recite this sloka even during the menstrual cycle. All other slokas were banned to be recited during those times. There was also this thought that if God gave us the cycles and he wants us to recite the slokas, then why not during those times ?? Some questions were never answered.

This Muruga phase kept on for a considerable time as I became more comfortable with the tamil lyrics and that wonderful tune.  I thought it was faith that I had in Muruga, that good things were happening to me. I did my college well, got a good job, married a good man…all those good things that happened to me, was the result of my never ending in faith in Muruga, or so I thought.

During the times of handling two little girls and the motherhood demands, I did take a break from reciting the slokas.  That faith for my daughters’ good health and happiness was the only thing that I cared about.  God was present with me in the form of my girls and that was the only faith that helped me to move on.  The good things didn’t cease to happen, even with the break given to recitation of slokas. The realization, which is often quite late, hit me – there are certain things that are meant to happen to me and that they happen at any cost.

Of course, the good things were also followed by a little bad phase. This didn’t mean that the non-recitation of the slokas were taking a toll on me. By this time, I was much matured and started understanding how things happen to us and its all in my mind and attitude to make things happen.

The more positive thoughts that I develop, the more positive are the things that happen to me. Faith meant a new thing now, which is positive thinking.

From a strict orthodox family with meticulous following of the rituals and customs, we have come a long way, where we take pride in doing my paati’s funeral ceremony the Arya Samaj way.  Its not the rituals that count, but how sincere we have been in doing it.  Amma has been donating to charities every month during paati’s thithi date. Its the faith in the new way of thinking that by feeding the hungry, helping the poor, we find God in that act.

There had been ups and downs in life.  But every phase was met with a smile saying “This too shall pass…”  There is a new Guru now, who guides me from time to time – my Sai. There are many Secrets and Alchemists to show me the simplest way forward.  All in all, there is only one message – Think Good, Help others, Be happy, Do not change yourself for others !  That faith has evolved inside me from time to time and now I feel more closer to the Super power, which sets this world go round.

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” - from Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, J.K.Rowling

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About UmaS

A Stay At Home Mom trying desperately to make a difference, in whatever I do !!!
This entry was posted in The Beginning and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Faith came back to me…

  1. Santulan says:

    If it makes you feel good, do it :)

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      Yup, thats what I am doing :)
      But the journey to reach such a stage has been a quite a difficult one. Its probably because of all those things that went into the mind in that impressionable age!

      Like

  2. R's Mom says:

    How wonderful Uma…I loved what you wrote..I love listening to the suprabhatam…I think its really nice and wakes me up in a jiffy as well ;)

    Like

  3. Loved the final quote, Uma, it is so very true and sensible. Even I have various phases in my belief cycle but for some years now, I feel calm.
    Joy always,
    Susan

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      I think we all go through those phases of faith but feel guilty sometimes when we changeover from a certain phase to another !
      Let the calmness surround you always Susan…hugs :)

      Like

  4. ashreyamom says:

    i think this is the best post i have ever read on faith.. loved the way you explained how our faith keeps changing..

    Like

  5. Priya says:

    “Think Good, Help others, Be happy, Do not change yourself for others ! ” sums it up all Uma! Loved reading about this evolution and can relate to it.. as my journey seems to have been pretty much similar.. except of course.. we were never into too many rituals or slokas.. though I loved listening to certain slokas for the energy they have..
    Very beautifully expressed!

    Like

  6. My dad is very religious and spiritual too. I am more spiritual. There was a phase when I followed a certain routine in ritual…lighting the diya and saying the shlokas. Now-a-days I hardly enter the pooja room. These are all phases I think.

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      Yup, its the same phases Janu. I still do the lighting of diya and atleast put some sloka in the music system – some habits die hard !! But the change inside me, I am loving it :)

      Like

  7. pixie says:

    :)
    Does make one feel good no?
    hugs Uma!! :)
    And the last quote is simply fab! Is it ok if I “borrow” it?! :D

    Like

  8. This is the reason I don’t compel my children to do namaskaarams nowadays. I was also particular about following and made them pray with some shlokas in their school days. Then I slowly stopped asking them if they went inside the pooja room! Now, son doesn’t believe in god or rituals! I have stopped commenting. Let him follow if he wants to whenever he wants to! In my mother’s place only men do pooja. Women just recite shlokas. Here, in my husband’s side, women do the pooja mostly. Now, in our house, Husband just pray silently and do namaskaaram. I light diyas with some shlokas. Festival days are different, though! Play Vishnu sahasranaamamam and other shlokas in the morning, recite Vishnu sahasranaamam in the evening if I am at home. My devotion is over!

    Even I was not very particular about reciting shlokas when I was busy with the kids. I have got time now and reciting. The problems we faced and the way we came out of them have taught me to take all problems lightly…everything happens for our own good. All are turning points!

    Your last quote is very true…I agree with it 100per cent. Enjoyed reading your post, Uma.

    Like

  9. I forgot to mention! My husband is a staunch Muruga devotee! He turns to the right side slightly in the pooja room and pray because Muruga’s photo is there! I am not particular about any god, though! Just pray and I don’t get any image in my mind while praying too!

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      Sandhya, now a days all Gods are the same to me…how we have confused the whole younger generation with different names, different customs to worship and what not !!
      We just cannot force anything on our kids na…like how I had rebelled when things were forced on me !! The faith has to come from within and even our children will get their own faith in their own time . It need not be the God we worship…it can be anything or simply some thoughts too !!
      Am glad you liked the post :)

      Like

  10. Rahul says:

    Anything that brings inner peace and keeps us thinking positive can only happen with faith as you brought out!

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  11. Vivek says:

    You have brought out the evolution of an individual very well.

    Like

  12. Comfy says:

    My dad is an atheist and Mom did little prayers here and there but it was not an everyday thing at our house. And even at that, we were never forced in to anything. If we wanted to sit with Mom when she did her prayers, we were welcome. It was ok not to want to also.
    I can honestly say, as a grown up, I am really happy about it. Every sloka I know is because I loved it as a child and have happy memories associated with it. Force does not bring faith and peace. That only comes from inner conviction and belief!

    Like

    • UmaS says:

      See how comfortable you are with your faith – it comes with freedom of approach. I wish every parent will do that to their child. It makes life easy for everyone.

      Like

  13. craftyshines says:

    Hugs Uma! This too shall pass is a thought a very close friend of mine introduced in my life.
    And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

    Faith in any form is power. Along with faith, wish you all the courage as well. :)

    Like

  14. LG says:

    I love this post because it reflects my current thoughts too. I have swung to extremes when it comes to faith, and now, I am questioning my own basic belief systems and trying to come to terms with what I really believe/trust. Like you, I am beginning to believe that my God is within me, and my thoughts are the way to realize that. A little scary. But one step at a time..

    Like

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