I am a cool mom now. No more worrying and feeling apprehensive about a daughter who is in college. We skype 3 or 4 times a week, talk over phone when she is free – I’ve sort of reconciled to the fact, that there will be a distant motherhood connect from now on with the elder one. The heart yearns for hugs and kisses. Of course, I await the holidays for now. But once she gets into her own career, doing things about which she is passionate about, her time and life will be totally occupied. She’ll be thriving to do things in her own way, but with the values learnt at home. I’ll be glad of such a future for her, which will mark my motherhood report with an A+.
I’ve indeed learnt to “Let Go”
Today, as I sit in this calm and quiet home of mine, I wonder about a lot of things.
The younger one is on a School trip. S is out on some work. Che..che…its terribly quiet now, though its a Sunday !! There’s no fighting for remotes nor some loud VH1 music deafening everyone’s ears. There’s no discussion of whether to watch K3G or Titanic or Notting Hill – the daughter’s kind of movies. There’s no need to cook some fancy dish – a simple rasam and thogaiyal will do. Probably I had yearned for all these, once upon a time. But when it actually is happening, I am at a loss today. This is another learning curve, which I need to master.
This is the time, I sit and reflect upon things that has happened and that is going to happen in my life. It’ll be just a matter of time, before the second one announces her decision to join college, of course out of the city – her main criteria is to stay in a hostel. You see, when the elder one has done so, isn’t it the duty of the sister to follow suit ??
My girls came into my life, quite early. Many people have questioned me “You didn’t even spend quality time with your husband – how did you understand him??” For me, understanding didn’t happen during a particular period of time, but at home, doing things together for the girls and for us. Children in my life made it easy for me, to understand many a things about S.
Now, I see a fork in my motherhood journey. I foresee that time, when me and S are going to spend time together, when the girls are laying foundations for their fabulous career. My daughter keeps teasing me on a never ending honeymoon, after she leaves for her college. But I think that this will be a different kind of time together, as we’ve certainly matured from that rash and quirky youngsters, in these many years of marriage.
And my mind is going round and round since morning on one single thought – What is that worthy thing which I should do ?? It should also be satisfying to the heart and soul.
May be this is the time to start giving back to the society in some way – need to seriously think about it. Its also time to turn spiritual, says another voice inside. There are umpteen number of places which I want to see and travel along with S. Of course, there’s also the possibility of my girls returning back to the nest to continue their career path.
So many possibilities.
So many things can happen.
I don’t know how things are going to turn out.
I am ready to accept the things thrown at me by life – this was one hard lesson learnt.
But still, the heart ponders on what’ll happen, sitting by the window, typing this post.